Is the Door really closed?: “questionable closed door” Part 1

“Just because it looks like the door is closed, doesn’t mean that it’s actually closed”…what does that mean?!?

----Perception is Powerful because Truth doesn’t always appear to be True!

(…Now that’s deep…)

GYC Commentary: Have you been knocking on a door and it was already open? Does it seem like you keep knocking and no one is answering? The topic of the “questionable closed door” can go in many directions, as do my thoughts, so this post is written accordingly… and it just wouldn’t be fair if I didn’t discuss the many, right? Right.

No matter how we look at it,

A door gives you access…

                 Whether you want or need access is determined by you…

&

 Whether or not you have access (where you want or need it) is determined by (your) purpose or the reason you're there.

Hmm…

Then, there are times when we decide our own purpose, and want (not need) access because:

1. We are good at something...

2. Everyone is joining/doing ___________(Fill-in-the-blank)!

            a. “If they can do it, so can I”!

3. It’s popular...

4. We’ll make a lot $$$...

5. ___________(Fill-in-the-blank) will be proud or impressed by me...

6. So what if its not my passion or desire right now, it will be!

…The list goes on!

 *I’ve definitely been a participant to some of those but I’m probably by myself…, … Anyway, I’ll leave that alone.*

However, I’m talking about where the “questionable closed door” lives. Those who are going after their passion/desire, the building blocks for purpose, and are not fully sure if the door where they’re trying to gain access is the right door…they are looking at the “questionable closed door.” There are so many reasons, questions, and phrases to think about when you need to figure out if the door is really closed (as in “do not enter,” “come back later” or “right place, wrong door”)!

Lets talk about it:

+The perception of winning- You believe that you are on the right track, headed in the right direction, laying down a strong foundation but when it’s time to build and actually walk through the door…you begin to question if this is really what you should be doing. Holding the doorknob (it’s unlocked) but letting thoughts of doubt decide if you have been given access. There have been many times that I started stuff (that’s the best way to put it) that I was sure of, then in the process, I would doubt that it could happen…letting the outcome decide my access (denied or granted).
The point of all that is: Winning isn’t determined by the outcome but a decision that you make before you start, and commit to until it’s over.

+++If you want to win then don’t give up- winning is a mental decision before the act is even done!

+Persistence-Just because you tried once doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t try again! Sometimes it may look like the door is closed but its really not you just need to try again. Allow confidence to develop into boldness, and turn determination up on HIGH!

+++Re-approach the situation differently- You have all the knowledge but you didn’t ___________(fill-in-the-blank). Revisit “Picture Everybody in Their Underwear & You'll be Fine” and make a new game plan.

+Don’t be afraid to demand an answer-a clear yes or no will do! Sometimes the door is open but we start to guess if we can come in or not…"maybe the person before us forgot to close it behind them or maybe I should close it then knock just to be sure?" When you know that you know that you are walking in your purpose, confidence and boldness follows. “If not this one, the next one”…move on after you check to see if the door is fully closed!

+Know that it’s okay to want the door closed- Sometimes when you get there, you look around and realize “this is NOT for me.” It is okay because life goes on! Trust me, you don’t want to succeed at the wrong thing!

+What is for me is for me! Simple…I’m not going to wonder if the door is closed or not, if I have been working on this “thing” that I’m passionate about for a long time. I know what I know, and I’m not backing down, THIS DOOR WILL OPEN BECAUSE I HAVE ACCESS…Step aside, I'm coming through!

+Know what you came for and where it is- Example: Don’t go to the ice cream spot/place/parlor, whatever, that only sells ice cream and you want a sandwich! Sometimes the door isn’t closed; you are just at the wrong door!

You don’t want to be sitting, waiting, wondering if you should do something when you’ve been given access all along…Is it a “Questionable Closed Door”…GO LOOK!

Read my “Questionable Closed Door” Story in Part 2…check back this Friday Monday...It will be worth the wait!

Preview:

“Have you ever made a mistake, started to live the mistake, and then finally admitted you were wrong…so you could start over??? I know I’m not by myself!”

In the mean time, follow @GYCGirlYOUCrazy on Twitter, tell your mom, friend, cousin, aunt, niece and everybody else to do the same! *Smile & Thank You*

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So You Dreamed it...What's Next?

 

 “A dream is but a dream until YOU decide to make it YOUR reality.”-Someone wanting you to succeed at the right thing

That moment, that age when you said what you wanted to be…then you (actually) did it!

“Mom, Dad, Sis, Bro (whomever!),

- I want to be a singer…(and you started singing into the hairbrush & holding backyard concerts)

- I want to be an engineer…(and you started breaking things around the house to build new things)

- I want to be a veterinarian…(and you would attempt to bring home all the wandering neighborhood animals)

- I want to be a ____________(fill-in-the-blank)…and you did it!“

Remember that? You didn’t wait for everyone to give his or her opinion before you pursued, you just went for it!

Quick/Short Personal note:

I know that I’ve had many “I want to be Moments” when I said it, then I did it but as I got older... I dreamed it, thought about it, then I forgot, something reminded me of it…and repeat. After I graduated, I looked time in the eye and realized those dreams that I thought I had forgotten were important/significant to the life I live and pursue now… I call them stepping-stones.

 After having a reality check, “putting pride aside and looking in the mirror,” I began to take every interesting thought, dream, idea, and requests from others as an introduction to the different possibilities and/or levels of me that I needed to accept!

Hey! Life is A Process!!!

Know this!--- If you dreamed it, you now owe yourself & your imagination (the birth place of your dream) an attempt at living your dream.

+Research it

+Google it

 +Borrow a book on it…

That will only cost you (wait for it…)…

TIME! (that’s all)

No matter the dream or desire, there is always something more to be learned. Talent may open the door but knowledge will keep the door open and allow for more opportunities.

And if it doesn’t work out…So What! Life isn’t over and that is not failure… call it Experience &…DREAM A NEW DREAM!

**When you begin to attempt your dreams whether past or present, you never know what the bigger dream or purpose is that your imagination is trying to get you to see/understand. Be open to being a “Jane of All Trades!”**

So YOU Dreamed it… What’s Next?

   You can “Work at life while still living life” but

-- Don’t let your dream die by not letting it grow.

My Dream is Mine and Yours is Yours

“Stop trying to live your life through ______(fill-in-the-blank), you have your own!”

&

“You have big shoes to fill!” Response: “No I don’t! I have MY OWN!”

 -The inner you telling negative Nellies (unisex) to SHUT UP!

So often, we are born with expectations. A dream given and not birthed, actions always seeming to fall short, close but not quite! It seems like we’re always trying to prove naysayers wrong with our forced actions…

Taking a look back at “Put Pride Aside and Look in the Mirror,” I’m reminded of the few to many times we’ve become something that we were never intended to be, and looking in the mirror (self-evaluation), we realized (quiet or in a scream, as a thought or out loud) “This is NOT my dream or HOW to get there!”

“Trying to live out someone’s dream, imagination or desire is like trying to walk in shoes that are too big…you fall!” –The Truth

It seems like every dream or goal of significance I’ve had was packaged real tight with opposition, and didn’t stand a chance if I didn’t fight to keep them! I’ve watched people give in to negative comments, allowing the expectations of others to become the instructions on “how to live Your life successfully”… And people’s failed dreams find new hope in others that resemble them!...Sound familiar???

This story will have NO enthusiasm, just Truth:

I ran track in middle and high school, went All-State with my relay team… as a result my father wanted me to continue this as long as I could, as in go to college and continue to run track. Pause here (*important note*): I’ve been designing since the 5th grade with aspirations of becoming a fashion designer, and the only college that I wanted to go to since then (if college was a must) was Parsons School of Design (where you design the track, not run on it (for sport)).

Back to the story: I received great opposition in doing well in this sport and not wanting to continue, “Many people don’t do well in sports and wish they could be in your shoes,” my response “Do they/you want to trade?!” After going All-State, I discontinued running track, and I put on the full body armor & boxing gloves to fight for my dream, the reality I want to be in. I decided that my dream was more important than pleasing any noun (you know: person, place or thing)!

To be clear: I ran track because

+ I was good at it… NOT passionate about it

+You get metals & attention

+My teammates were funny

+My picture will be on the Wall of Fame at my high school as long as that building exist

++At that time, Not now…”It was all about me!” (Which is dangerous!)++

But what was beyond me and held my deepest desires is to be a fashion designer and help businesses (before, after, and during). I kept fighting, came, saw & graduated from Parsons School of Design’s (BBA) D+M Business program, and the fight continues!

I don’t regret defending my dream.

Let me say this: We were all created to do something great, whether it impacts 1 or 100 Million! Don’t let the fact that someone else didn’t get to live out their dream/desire/imagination become the reason you change or don’t live yours.

Each and every dream, talent and desire within you is designed especially for YOU and no one else can accomplish it but YOU! No guilt, no shame or dirty looks is worth making someone else proud, when you are not proud or passionate about what you create, achieve and present to the world.

YOU don’t owe anyone’s dream achievement but your own!

--- My Dream is Mine and Yours is Yours

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Put Pride Aside and Look in the Mirror

At some point it may appear like you’re not winning, sitting, wondering why things are going wrong, replaying the situation over and over again, changing all the factors… YET the outcome is still the same…Why, oh Why, Why, why, why, W-H-Y???

I remember 2 significant times in my life that my dreams and wildest desires appeared to have ended with defeat, and in need of a refocus & some fresh air.

I would get lost in just thinking about the life I would have at the accomplishment of my dreams and desires…it was truly Amazing! However, some of the steps I took didn’t favor with what I thought or how I thought it was going to happen, and it seemed as if I needed a new plan!

At those moments, I thought that I had figured out how to achieve my dreams and live my wildest desires. It seemed as though I was dining at the table with my future, living out the phrase “at the right place, right time, and meeting the right people.” Taking that fully noticeable intentional step in the assumed right direction but not fully accessing what I had hoped. I asked every “why” question and rehearsed “what if” scenarios but could not figure out what went wrong in the end. How do I open this door???

But (a “but” can really change some things), there was one thing that I did not do…Put My Pride Aside and Look in the Mirror!

     Is the thing that I’m pursuing in this moment really going to be a step of purpose in the       direction of living out my dreams? Maybe things are not working because they are NOT supposed to work? Maybe it’s a decision that I’m making and keep making that keeps allowing me to be stuck!?! Hmmm.

What started out good but didn’t end the same could be the best experience needed to move forward in the right direction at the right time, and wasn’t wasted time or relationships after all! If I put my pride aside and look in the mirror, I’m actually saving time, and learning to find the answers in myself since that is where my dreams & wildest desires live.

There is no need to keep going the wrong way just because you’re already there. When you start, you should finish but don’t finish something that needs to be started over…. Stop, Put Your Pride Aside, and Look In the Mirror!

Whether we realize it or not, the thought of a goal to a dream, or a goal with an end is the reason we stepped this way or that way, said yes or no, left early or stayed late. The possibly hidden intentions of our actions open the door to manifest success or failure.

Picture Everybody in Their Underwear & You’ll be FINE…

Picture Everybody in Their Underwear & You’ll be FINE…Really???

When I was a little girl up until the 6th grade, I was terrified of speaking in front of the class, school, large crowds (20+), etc…I would burst into sobbing tears and hope that I could go back to my seat (who wants to hear someone try to read and cry???? They did!)! I tried all the tricks, my mom said, “Picture everybody naked or in their underwear” and I’m thinking “What GOOD does that do???…Since they’re not!” Long story short, THAT DIDN’T WORK!

I couldn’t figure it out because I was full of joy, laughter and very talkative on all the other days…but as soon as it was my turn to present something/anything, like a set alarm clock, the tears went off! The next day, everyone would say, “What happened?” “Why were you crying?” the list goes on and on. However, I did not respond because after all, doesn’t everyone have a little stage fright (let me be)?

Someway, somehow, I had to find out what was wrong, why does getting in front of all these people that I see everyday make me nervous to the point of crying!?!?                  

“The thing that challenges you the most could be the thing that you are destined to overcome and conquer.” –Your Inner Confidence Speaking

I’ll be completely honest, the 6th grade must have been the year that I opened the gift of confidence, rejected the possibility of rejection, stood my ground, presented with no tears and began to fight fear…yep, it was a major year!

From that up until now, which is several years and presentations later, I’ve watered down public/presentation/crowd (fill-in-the-blank) speaking, I’ve compared my own, and I have to say something amazingly CRAZY and profound about it, Ready???…

Public Speaking is Just Talking, a conversation where you get to do all the talking, and people have to listen or at least pretend because you have the stage/floor/platform (whatever you wanna call it) and until you sit down & be quiet, they have to listen!

BUT, let me give out some instructions on how and why to water down public speaking to just talking. Quick Comment: I have presented some not so hot presentations since the 6th grade (ha!) and it was a result of not being sure of the things I’m about to say!

When I present,

  +Is there a Purpose and do I know it? The silliest to the most boring topic has a purpose for being presented, if you can’t find it, define it or in other words make it up, create one. This is NOT LYING but giving a topic a reason to be presented, there is a difference!

  +Is there something about the topic that I can be Passionate about? Find a specific area of the topic that speaks to you, something that relates to you in some shape or form. If you ARE interested, they’ll be interested, or at least grow an interest. When you find a topic or part of a topic that interests you…TALK ABOUT IT! No one wants to listen to you be bored about a boring topic, trust me, YOU CAN MAKE IT INTERESTING!

  +Do I know the Purpose and understand the topic enough to be Passionate and have Confidence when I speak? Know what you know, believe it, and then tell about it! We talk to our friends about everything and nothing without even thinking about it, know the topic you’re presenting the same way so you can just talk about it like in a conversation!

  +And if I know and have all of the answers to the previous questions, will I promise myself to be Bold, stand or sit up straight, feet on the ground, and defend what I’ve presented because I know what I know and I’m not backing down???? Let me repeat myself, “I know what I know, and I’m not backing down,” once you have decided to be confident you can’t take it back (well, you can but confidence just looks a whole lot better), give em’ good eye contact and a smile  when you’re done (teeth or no teeth, you decide)! Enjoy yourself and have fun!

***Oh and please, please…please don’t end with “I’m done” “That’s It” “That’s All I Got” “I’m Finished, Can I Sit Down?” it's like taking a shower before playing in the mud, just unnecessary! Silence, “Any Questions?” or “Thank You” is the perfect way to end your amazing speech no matter who you are!

GYC Commentary: The thing that challenged me the most became the thing that I overcame, conquered and enjoy doing because after all, I know what I know & I’m not backing down plus public speaking is just talking!

+++If there is a lesson in here, anywhere from experience…is to pursue and conquer that thing that challenges you the most, the thing that embarrasses you that embarrasses no one else, something you wish you were proud of but makes you nervous at the mention of it, etc.