Thursday, August 29, 2013

I write what I speak 2: The cost of comparison.

“To understand the cost of comparison is to go beyond the thought of ‘I have high self-esteem…you’re not talking about me…I don’t compare myself to others’ and look a little deeper.”-Memoir of how I learned depths of the truth (that would be a really good book… mention GYC Girl YOU Crazy if you write it…Mmmhmm)

“Don’t attempt to compete through comparison, instead live the life you were given pausing at times to recognize/acknowledge what you deserve to receive.”-Compliments and Comparison are not needed

Appetizer GYC Side NoteBe clear…I enjoy receiving compliments but they are not necessary or relevant to the definition of our self-worth…it maintains with or without it. Comparison and compliments do not define us.

And we're off!!!

To continue in the path of Is that what YOU think YOU deserve? and POWER STATEMENTS…I wanted to hit the root of this for some of us…

When YOU hear/read the word comparison…what do you think about?

+ Others in comparison to ourselves (looks, successes, connections and everything in between)
+ People against people (looks, successes, connections and everything in between)
+ Past and present
+ What we think we deserve
+ What IS important…and what IS NOT important
…Or all of the above and some!!

For some, we immediately think of 1 (or more) of the same thoughts every time that word is uttered /spoken/written/typed/expressed…

And recently, I’ve experienced wisdom in reflection of comparison from a last-minute trip to the mall and the simplicity of it opened me up to go deeper in understanding comparison, its cost and purpose.

So, I wanted to talk about comparison

And…the best way for me to work all this out is through quotes and commentary, which is why this is…

I write what I speak 2:

The cost of comparison

I created GYC’s own quotes and “Crazy…all over the place” commentary (on some) for the sake/reason/purpose of going deeper. The quotes were birthed in and from real situations, conversations, and observation.

And the story of Comparison through GYC Quotes unfolds…well more like an open letter with notes from me, to me just written for all to see…

Dear _________________,

Don't compare, you're not competing.

GYC Commentary:
You’re not competing to live the life that you have, purpose gives us direction and destination points meant for us to live, and fit perfect with a fight we can/will win…the fight to be the true us. Comparison won’t help but it will hold us up, and keep us stuck in thinking…

+ We can compete for “opportunities” that are not ours…
+ That someone else can compete with what was designed for only us to fulfill…
+ The past (and its people) is more deserving and its works are more important than our present and future…  
+ Etc…

Let the confidence of another encourage you.”-Neglect Comparison

Now let’s go deeper because your life is M-O-R-E,

“Wisdom speaks through processed experiences, pain may be part of the story but it doesn’t hold the microphone.”

GYC Commentary:
Have you ever been given advice through a horror story…that really had no explanation other than the person getting hurt…and their pain being a warning…???

As much as I appreciate a “danger do not enter” sign… I’m hesitant to receive the information when its warning is delivered through someone not standing in front of the sign confirming its reality…as in, he/she isn’t currently experiencing it and giving all the present details.

Wisdom doesn’t come because YOU, ME, WE experienced the pain or situation…it comes when WE decide to process the pain or situation.

I feel like in every step I take forward is a fight to keep off the
Comparison of past hurts to future events that have yet to happen…

Take a minute…

Think about it…

As in attempting to compete with the past in my present…something that is over, done, only can be lived again if I decide to live the same actions… I do not know what is going to happen (I kicked my “predicting the future” habit)!

“Pain can’t and will not hold the microphone or my attention because I’ll miss Wisdom.”

Wisdom will never stop YOU, ME, WE from living an amazing life of purpose just because we or someone else experienced hurt in the past.

“You can try to relate the two but it CAN take from YOU what is meant for YOU.”

GYC Commentary:
It’s not about the details… it’s about what is actually designed and designated for US to receive…we can go through life comparing all day long… thinking this is how to make important decisions and miss what is actually for us in its designated time.

Think about all the Romantic Comedies (which I LOVE!!!)… Where the guy who is also an underdog…tries to compete against the guy with all the flash, “class” and cash (HA!!) for the girl…

Now think about the reality of it…

Comparison can rob YOU of the seeds YOU have planted…thinking there must be an easier, faster, more appealing way or that we can compete through comparing ourselves and circumstances (versus research) to another that never lived a day in our shoes and isn’t meant to…for a prize…which either IS or IS NOT ours (regardless of how the fight looks…HELLO!!!).

“If you don’t make a decision, you'll end up with nothing and in some cases we are destined to have both.”

GYC Commentary:
Comparing can talk you out of a decision because it gives you way more things to consider beyond what you want and need.

So… here is the mall story I was talking about in the beginning…

The mall story: So, this past weekend I went to the mall…something I rarely do now…New York turned me against the format plus I hate 50 people asking me "do I need help"…NO, NO I DON’T!!! Anyway, I wanted to go to Pinkberry and H&M…2 of my most frequented spots when I lived in NY but to find them together in MI….OH YES…especially since I had a free Pinkberry coming my way!!!

However, the mall closed at 9pm, I’ve never been to either at this mall…so I don’t know where they’re located…oh, and I’m still on the expressway with my mom…at 8:30pm (taking much longer than I thought it would take to get there)…yea!

Now let’s talk comparison…

Welcome to the other side of my personal life…

+ In the car I’m thinking back and forth on how to get both or does one have higher importance over the other. Maybe I can come back another day and just pay for the yogurt when I’m feeling the urge…

+ Both have time sensitive products…that I don’t need…I just Desire them on a serious note!
++ My free yogurt expires at the end of August…I didn’t think I was going to be able to use it…since I had NO IDEA there was a Pinkberry here!!! And I only got it in NY recently just because I love to join a free and rewarding club!

++ H&M carries a hat I wear for a price I agree with…but I can’t seem to find the one I already own…and it’s one of the looks for my current hairstyle…which has an end date…

+ My mom can go and get the yogurt while I get the hat…even though she walks much slower than I do… or maybe they’re right next door to each other…or my mom can wait in front of Pinkberry and plead with them not to close before I get there…

Yep, that’s right…I’m contemplating Plan A, Plan B…not Plan what’s meant to BE!!!

Then we parked…and I jogged to the door…

In all this comparison about frivolous/unnecessary/unimportant to living daily life things… I decided…

Instead of living compared, make the decision to just live and I was able to do and have both (with time to enjoy it all)…What is for me…is for ME.

Comparison is a thief and one of slewfoots' good buddies...

“Girl YOU, ME WE ain’t Crazy!”

“It’s always a risk to believe just like it’s a risk not to!”

GYC Commentary:
Comparing will keep you from what is for you.... I let go of comparison and went for all of what I wanted and I found out that I could have both...

Why do YOU compare?

Daily discuss your purpose and you'll find that purpose isn’t moved by comparison because it knows your definition and self-worth.

GYC Side Note: The littlest things are important to be.

“Let faith come out of your own mouth...only you know what it's like to be you. Speak loud and allow your hope to breathe.”

“The conversation you don’t have can be the problem you have later.”

GYC Commentary:
If you’re waiting to discuss something with yourself or someone else…wait no longer because eventually the issue will grow from an anthill into a _________ you know the rest…making the conversation deeper than what it initially was!

I know comparison is a topic that many (including me) like to tweet, and post, but if the conversation was and is never truly part of self-reflection…it will be the problem YOU, ME, WE have later…and everyone will see.

What word(s) is part of your vocabulary that YOU
need to reflect on?
Don’t wait because avoiding it may rob you of what was to come from it.

“I don’t compare, it’s a waste of my time to compete… I’m deserving of my own victory story.”

Defeating Crazy with COURAGEOUS,
Lauren Alicia, Miss GYCGirl…Living Without Comparison!!!
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