Monday, July 8, 2013

When A Stranger Lingers… Part 2: I Befriended Me

“To know how amazing YOU are, should be common knowledge without the confirmation from another.”-Daily GYC Note-To-Self

“When I accept the friendship of self… then, do I begin to understand what it means to be a friend to someone else.”-Being a Friend 101…(Coming This Fall…not really but that would be quite the book to read by Lauren Alicia)

“I Befriended ME…so, my identity isn’t lost in another but found in the development and understanding of self.”-The purpose of me without sidebar commentary; YOU, Me, We Speaking Truthfully

Dear Me,

When you are naming off the names of your best friends…don’t forget me!

Side Note:  You are designed to do great things so… DO THEM!!!

Before we get into it…
Let me say this…

“When a Stranger Lingers…” GYC Series is about friendship and the relationships we allow or tolerate even after we have grown/moved forward/matured/stopped being funky…all of that!!!
If you missed any of the previous series posts…please scroll to the top for the links…I can wait!!!

And back to it…

Well, in thinking on this and opening myself up to learn,

I found at one point…a need to hold on to certain people because of memories. 

Quick Rant Style Explanation
BUT what is important to note is…
It wasn’t that the good memories didn’t outweigh the bad…but what I was holding on to now was something that no longer existed…
And needed to be released because my developing identity (and understanding of self) no longer agreed with some of the “who’s” surrounding me.

Now let’s back up a little bit…YES…we’re going on a lil’ GYC journey!

Befriending me allowed me to accept peace and joy in simply being me with or without others around.

The moments of holding on to people because of memories became a weight that clouded me from seeing hope and present possibilities of being able to create memories without the people that were no longer good for me.

I had to realize that I wasn’t being a friend to myself, not playing on my own team if I may… by allowing the people I chose to call friend to maintain their position because of memories that substance no longer existed.

I needed to relate to today's memories, not from when I last talked to you a year+ ago!!

Befriending yourself allows YOU, ME, WE to have standards… a prerequisite before discussing the requirements.

I think we learn to let go of a lot more when we realize we are worth more…

Befriending myself permitted me to push pass appearances…

Think about it,
 Even as kids…our friendships had some sort of substance no matter how complicated or simple we made it sound to our parents. It may have looked like we were BFFs with everyone but if we explained each of the friendships…every person told a little bit about WHO we are and what we enjoy, TODAY.

GYC Personal Reflection…although this whole post probably seems like that…
I’ve learned through observation that I am a better friend when I am a friend to myself, and I can receive the criticism of others as suggestions for improving myself...versus things I need to do to be a “better person.”

Yep, pay attention to the difference!

When we treat ourselves like a friend…
 +++We look out for ourselves like we would for another person

GYC Explanation: Sometimes it takes another set of eyes to tell you about you because we may be blind to the real situation that is in front of us. Although, I value the friend that loves me enough to do that…befriending myself daily opens my eyes to see/evaluate what is and isn’t for me…and that friend can be someone to agree/confirm/recognize the same thing...versus appearing to bring new information to me...
Making me defensive, and all “Girl YOU Crazy!!!”

+++We understand the purpose of the presence...of other people…is not to bash us but to support us

GYC Explanation: Sometimes we experience something bad over and over again…and begin to view/see/perceive what we lived as the norm. Whether we are in a room full of people or by ourselves…we should always be one of our biggest supporters and cheerleaders. Give what you would want for yourself, to someone else…but the question is… What do you want for you?
The friendships that I value today are with people I enjoy encouraging, watching them succeed from level to level, and/or encouraging greatness out of me.

Take a moment to think on what your friendship to Self looks like, and how it is reflected in the people you choose and chose to be around.

Quick GYC Commentary
A quote that is being used so much but its use is so necessary is… “We accept the love we think we deserve” from The Perks of Being a Wallflower. It helps to explain… certain friendships we maintain/allow…and it all points back to how do YOU view YOU through understanding of your own self-worth?


Befriend yourself daily. Know, and walk in your worth.

GYC Interview with Self because we can’t be a friend to ourselves if we are not honest with ourselves (some questions to ponder for your thoughts only)

+ Would you defend you even in the middle of your own mistakes?
This is not a question of defending the mistake but of defending who you are, which is human and giving yourself another chance because you realize/recognize/acknowledge you always have HOPE.

+ Would YOU befriend YOU?
Because I randomly think about questions I will ask people when I’m in the position to hire, this question came to mind…”Would you hire you?” So, in thinking about befriending yourself for your own sanity...are you a friend that you would want for yourself… I definitely have moments when I need…and I do apologize to people I consider(ed) friend because I wasn’t a friend in certain situations. This truth forever remains “Treat people the way you want to be treated”…but first know how you want/need to be treated.

+ What will YOU tolerate in our friendship and what is NOT acceptable?

+ What is YOUR definition of friend and how close do YOU match it?

What we define and acknowledge is how we perceive what is before us…what have YOU left undefined?

Last Thoughts…GYC Rant Style
Befriending yourself is a lesson that WE constantly learn and check to make sure is present in our reality. When you befriend you, we become less tolerant of those that just want to be tolerated for the sake of calling you friend instead of being a friend, we open ourselves up to know ourselves more…and to not just have random standards with no meaning but meaning with expectations (‘take it or leave it’ attitude) because we know and walk in our worth. Befriending ourselves isn’t new and it surely isn’t old…if you want to live Bold, Confident & Strong through Your Purpose…it’s going to take “Me being a friend to Me” DAILY, getting the agenda, deciding to live it, and actually receiving what belongs to me because I know what is for me…and I refuse to be blocked from it holding on to friendships (or anything else unnecessary or distracting) that no longer have substance like I don’t have real standards!  

Time up for that, we are amazing and designed to do great things…that’s common knowledge!!!

Value your company even if you are in a room by yourself.

 I befriended Me...

Defeating Crazy with Courageous,
Lauren Alicia
(I think I might add this as a signature for now on?!?!?)

P.S. This post has a few unfinished thoughts for our own thoughts. Remember, 'I do things a lil' differently!'


Join me, right here…NEXT WEEK for the Conclusion of “When a Stranger Lingers…”---A short but necessary series!!!

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