Is the Door Really Closed?: "questionable closed door" Part 2 (My Story)

Avoiding the Open Door

“I do not see mistakes as failures but experience paving the way to success.” –GYC Girl YOU Crazy

Have you ever made a mistake, started to live the mistake, and then finally admitted you were wrong…so you could start over??? I know I’m not by myself!

Although I do not see mistakes as failures, I have to tell my story for you to see my experience as paving the way to success.

Well here’s the story, my story:

Remember how I said that if college was a must for me that it had to be Parsons…and NYC is my dream home? If not, “My Dream is Mine and Yours is Yours” is the place to be…after you finish here of course! However, I’ll give a quick recap: 6th grade was the best, realized my dream and dream college (if I had to go…that’s another post), fast-forward…I came, I saw and graduated from my dream college. Now, lets discuss the in between!

GYC Girl YOU Crazy Timeline aka my own version of what a timeline looks like and the way I’m going to tell this story! This story will have enthusiasm here and there but it is written this way to get straight to the point (10 point story).

“Everyone has an important moment that determines the next moment…often we call it the substance of life.”- Now Speaking

1---Junior year (high school), the year that sets off the possibilities of senior year, and the life after.

            My Junior Year Checklist:

            +Take the SAT, twice was enough (don't judge)

            +Apply to college (only Parsons…fashion design program)

+Last chance to do my best, grade wise, not that I wasn't already but this was year to show off a little more…(colleges rarely look at senior year grades, so I was told)

2---Summer after junior year…lets make it count!

+I went to Parsons Pre-College Design and Management (business) program for 30 days…MY FIRST TIME IN NYC and if I may add, the 1st time being away from home by myself!

+Realized that NYC is really my dream home…I LOVED IT!

-Made international friends and met random celebs, yea that experience came with many interesting stories, anyway.

+I came back home, and wanted to spend the day observing at Paul Cicchini, a high-end custom clothier shop…they let me, so I did, and it was amazing, they are amazing!

3---Senior year, the results are in…

+I didn’t get in, so what now?

++ I applied to 2 other design schools’ fashion design program, 1 in NYC and the other in LA…of course I get into the school in LA that starts in the summer instead of fall. ++

4---Fast Forward: They (Parsons) keep emailing me…leave me alone, the door is closed! Isn’t it?

+The emails say “Keep us in your academic career” and all that jazz!

+Then I realized that I could have possibly messed up by applying to the fashion design program instead of business.

+But I knew it had to be too late, so I started the application for Parsons Paris’ business program-> it wasn’t too late for that (yes, I was all over the place)!

5---In the meantime, I have to go somewhere (out of state!!!), I love NYC but I guess it’s on hold for now…LA here I come!

+They let me in, so here I come…summer session, YAY (and yes I did pump myself up to be excited)!

++ The door was open so… ++

6---Sometimes we can’t see the open doors attached to our dreams and someone else has to open our eyes to see. I told a family friend about the emails from Parsons, and although I thought I was over it, she knew my desire to live in NYC and that I shouldn’t give up.

+My family friend called Parsons to find out what went wrong… "A rejection letter is not always the end but a stepping stone to the next level."-Me

            -I moved to LA in July & started school

            -I realized that LA was not the LA on TV and wondered what “life” I would have here? (I am sure that LA is awesome and hopefully one day I will get to experience its awesomeness but I needed NYC in my life!)

7---I walked through the wrong door because it was open but my dreams preserved the right open door & waited for me!

+My family friend talked to one of the Parsons' admission representatives and she pulled out my file…and there was a sticky note in my file... My rejection file saying, “I should have applied to the business program.”

++ To this day...a sticky note in my rejection file still amazes me, it's not over till it's over! ++

8---Prepare for the right open door

+The rep. said that everything in my file was admissible but I just needed to write the BBA (business program) application essay.

+I had already written the essay to apply for Parsons Paris.

+The door was not closed in NYC but I knew that the door known as LA would not close for me but I needed to close it myself.

            -After all, I did have to make myself excited to go there because I had to leave home after high school & that is the truth!

9---Be Bold, Be Courageous and Walk through the Right Open Door.

+I packed up my short-lived LA life, shipped it home, withdrew from the LA school, and went home to get ready to walk through my right open door!

+The Parsons admission rep. told me to email the essay, "they" would print it out, and present it to the board with the other applicants…and I would immediately have the decision by email!

10---The end of July, expected arrival for freshman is the end of August…

+I got in…with a month before everyone/I am supposed to be there…I got in!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

+And the journey continued as I walked through the open door designed specifically for my purpose and me!

++ If ever there was such a loud Girl YOU Crazy moment…this was it! (So much negative Nellies in my ear, directly & indirectly)++

GYC Commentary: Sometimes we do force access “Yea this door was open, it was busted up like that when I got here” or an all time favorite “stutters: ‘See what had happened was…’” Placing ourselves in a place we were never supposed to be. In life we will find that there are many mistakes posing as an open door, and we will go through them because it’s available right now! However, if we hold onto our dreams no matter the mistakes, we’ll find that the right open door is waiting on us.

GYC Personal Commentary (even though this entire story is personal…):

I was at the right door with the wrong purpose, left and went to the wrong door because it was available but the right door was waiting on me to open it when I was ready with the right purpose. Okay let me try again: I was at the right door but didn’t have the right key, the door wasn’t closed, and I needed to know why I was there so I could have the right key to gain access.

-Lauren Alicia GYC Girl YOU Crazy Creator

Is the Door really closed?: “questionable closed door” Part 1

“Just because it looks like the door is closed, doesn’t mean that it’s actually closed”…what does that mean?!?

----Perception is Powerful because Truth doesn’t always appear to be True!

(…Now that’s deep…)

GYC Commentary: Have you been knocking on a door and it was already open? Does it seem like you keep knocking and no one is answering? The topic of the “questionable closed door” can go in many directions, as do my thoughts, so this post is written accordingly… and it just wouldn’t be fair if I didn’t discuss the many, right? Right.

No matter how we look at it,

A door gives you access…

                 Whether you want or need access is determined by you…

&

 Whether or not you have access (where you want or need it) is determined by (your) purpose or the reason you're there.

Hmm…

Then, there are times when we decide our own purpose, and want (not need) access because:

1. We are good at something...

2. Everyone is joining/doing ___________(Fill-in-the-blank)!

            a. “If they can do it, so can I”!

3. It’s popular...

4. We’ll make a lot $$$...

5. ___________(Fill-in-the-blank) will be proud or impressed by me...

6. So what if its not my passion or desire right now, it will be!

…The list goes on!

 *I’ve definitely been a participant to some of those but I’m probably by myself…, … Anyway, I’ll leave that alone.*

However, I’m talking about where the “questionable closed door” lives. Those who are going after their passion/desire, the building blocks for purpose, and are not fully sure if the door where they’re trying to gain access is the right door…they are looking at the “questionable closed door.” There are so many reasons, questions, and phrases to think about when you need to figure out if the door is really closed (as in “do not enter,” “come back later” or “right place, wrong door”)!

Lets talk about it:

+The perception of winning- You believe that you are on the right track, headed in the right direction, laying down a strong foundation but when it’s time to build and actually walk through the door…you begin to question if this is really what you should be doing. Holding the doorknob (it’s unlocked) but letting thoughts of doubt decide if you have been given access. There have been many times that I started stuff (that’s the best way to put it) that I was sure of, then in the process, I would doubt that it could happen…letting the outcome decide my access (denied or granted).
The point of all that is: Winning isn’t determined by the outcome but a decision that you make before you start, and commit to until it’s over.

+++If you want to win then don’t give up- winning is a mental decision before the act is even done!

+Persistence-Just because you tried once doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t try again! Sometimes it may look like the door is closed but its really not you just need to try again. Allow confidence to develop into boldness, and turn determination up on HIGH!

+++Re-approach the situation differently- You have all the knowledge but you didn’t ___________(fill-in-the-blank). Revisit “Picture Everybody in Their Underwear & You'll be Fine” and make a new game plan.

+Don’t be afraid to demand an answer-a clear yes or no will do! Sometimes the door is open but we start to guess if we can come in or not…"maybe the person before us forgot to close it behind them or maybe I should close it then knock just to be sure?" When you know that you know that you are walking in your purpose, confidence and boldness follows. “If not this one, the next one”…move on after you check to see if the door is fully closed!

+Know that it’s okay to want the door closed- Sometimes when you get there, you look around and realize “this is NOT for me.” It is okay because life goes on! Trust me, you don’t want to succeed at the wrong thing!

+What is for me is for me! Simple…I’m not going to wonder if the door is closed or not, if I have been working on this “thing” that I’m passionate about for a long time. I know what I know, and I’m not backing down, THIS DOOR WILL OPEN BECAUSE I HAVE ACCESS…Step aside, I'm coming through!

+Know what you came for and where it is- Example: Don’t go to the ice cream spot/place/parlor, whatever, that only sells ice cream and you want a sandwich! Sometimes the door isn’t closed; you are just at the wrong door!

You don’t want to be sitting, waiting, wondering if you should do something when you’ve been given access all along…Is it a “Questionable Closed Door”…GO LOOK!

Read my “Questionable Closed Door” Story in Part 2…check back this Friday Monday...It will be worth the wait!

Preview:

“Have you ever made a mistake, started to live the mistake, and then finally admitted you were wrong…so you could start over??? I know I’m not by myself!”

In the mean time, follow @GYCGirlYOUCrazy on Twitter, tell your mom, friend, cousin, aunt, niece and everybody else to do the same! *Smile & Thank You*

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So You Dreamed it...What's Next?

 

 “A dream is but a dream until YOU decide to make it YOUR reality.”-Someone wanting you to succeed at the right thing

That moment, that age when you said what you wanted to be…then you (actually) did it!

“Mom, Dad, Sis, Bro (whomever!),

- I want to be a singer…(and you started singing into the hairbrush & holding backyard concerts)

- I want to be an engineer…(and you started breaking things around the house to build new things)

- I want to be a veterinarian…(and you would attempt to bring home all the wandering neighborhood animals)

- I want to be a ____________(fill-in-the-blank)…and you did it!“

Remember that? You didn’t wait for everyone to give his or her opinion before you pursued, you just went for it!

Quick/Short Personal note:

I know that I’ve had many “I want to be Moments” when I said it, then I did it but as I got older... I dreamed it, thought about it, then I forgot, something reminded me of it…and repeat. After I graduated, I looked time in the eye and realized those dreams that I thought I had forgotten were important/significant to the life I live and pursue now… I call them stepping-stones.

 After having a reality check, “putting pride aside and looking in the mirror,” I began to take every interesting thought, dream, idea, and requests from others as an introduction to the different possibilities and/or levels of me that I needed to accept!

Hey! Life is A Process!!!

Know this!--- If you dreamed it, you now owe yourself & your imagination (the birth place of your dream) an attempt at living your dream.

+Research it

+Google it

 +Borrow a book on it…

That will only cost you (wait for it…)…

TIME! (that’s all)

No matter the dream or desire, there is always something more to be learned. Talent may open the door but knowledge will keep the door open and allow for more opportunities.

And if it doesn’t work out…So What! Life isn’t over and that is not failure… call it Experience &…DREAM A NEW DREAM!

**When you begin to attempt your dreams whether past or present, you never know what the bigger dream or purpose is that your imagination is trying to get you to see/understand. Be open to being a “Jane of All Trades!”**

So YOU Dreamed it… What’s Next?

   You can “Work at life while still living life” but

-- Don’t let your dream die by not letting it grow.

My Dream is Mine and Yours is Yours

“Stop trying to live your life through ______(fill-in-the-blank), you have your own!”

&

“You have big shoes to fill!” Response: “No I don’t! I have MY OWN!”

 -The inner you telling negative Nellies (unisex) to SHUT UP!

So often, we are born with expectations. A dream given and not birthed, actions always seeming to fall short, close but not quite! It seems like we’re always trying to prove naysayers wrong with our forced actions…

Taking a look back at “Put Pride Aside and Look in the Mirror,” I’m reminded of the few to many times we’ve become something that we were never intended to be, and looking in the mirror (self-evaluation), we realized (quiet or in a scream, as a thought or out loud) “This is NOT my dream or HOW to get there!”

“Trying to live out someone’s dream, imagination or desire is like trying to walk in shoes that are too big…you fall!” –The Truth

It seems like every dream or goal of significance I’ve had was packaged real tight with opposition, and didn’t stand a chance if I didn’t fight to keep them! I’ve watched people give in to negative comments, allowing the expectations of others to become the instructions on “how to live Your life successfully”… And people’s failed dreams find new hope in others that resemble them!...Sound familiar???

This story will have NO enthusiasm, just Truth:

I ran track in middle and high school, went All-State with my relay team… as a result my father wanted me to continue this as long as I could, as in go to college and continue to run track. Pause here (*important note*): I’ve been designing since the 5th grade with aspirations of becoming a fashion designer, and the only college that I wanted to go to since then (if college was a must) was Parsons School of Design (where you design the track, not run on it (for sport)).

Back to the story: I received great opposition in doing well in this sport and not wanting to continue, “Many people don’t do well in sports and wish they could be in your shoes,” my response “Do they/you want to trade?!” After going All-State, I discontinued running track, and I put on the full body armor & boxing gloves to fight for my dream, the reality I want to be in. I decided that my dream was more important than pleasing any noun (you know: person, place or thing)!

To be clear: I ran track because

+ I was good at it… NOT passionate about it

+You get metals & attention

+My teammates were funny

+My picture will be on the Wall of Fame at my high school as long as that building exist

++At that time, Not now…”It was all about me!” (Which is dangerous!)++

But what was beyond me and held my deepest desires is to be a fashion designer and help businesses (before, after, and during). I kept fighting, came, saw & graduated from Parsons School of Design’s (BBA) D+M Business program, and the fight continues!

I don’t regret defending my dream.

Let me say this: We were all created to do something great, whether it impacts 1 or 100 Million! Don’t let the fact that someone else didn’t get to live out their dream/desire/imagination become the reason you change or don’t live yours.

Each and every dream, talent and desire within you is designed especially for YOU and no one else can accomplish it but YOU! No guilt, no shame or dirty looks is worth making someone else proud, when you are not proud or passionate about what you create, achieve and present to the world.

YOU don’t owe anyone’s dream achievement but your own!

--- My Dream is Mine and Yours is Yours

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Put Pride Aside and Look in the Mirror

At some point it may appear like you’re not winning, sitting, wondering why things are going wrong, replaying the situation over and over again, changing all the factors… YET the outcome is still the same…Why, oh Why, Why, why, why, W-H-Y???

I remember 2 significant times in my life that my dreams and wildest desires appeared to have ended with defeat, and in need of a refocus & some fresh air.

I would get lost in just thinking about the life I would have at the accomplishment of my dreams and desires…it was truly Amazing! However, some of the steps I took didn’t favor with what I thought or how I thought it was going to happen, and it seemed as if I needed a new plan!

At those moments, I thought that I had figured out how to achieve my dreams and live my wildest desires. It seemed as though I was dining at the table with my future, living out the phrase “at the right place, right time, and meeting the right people.” Taking that fully noticeable intentional step in the assumed right direction but not fully accessing what I had hoped. I asked every “why” question and rehearsed “what if” scenarios but could not figure out what went wrong in the end. How do I open this door???

But (a “but” can really change some things), there was one thing that I did not do…Put My Pride Aside and Look in the Mirror!

     Is the thing that I’m pursuing in this moment really going to be a step of purpose in the       direction of living out my dreams? Maybe things are not working because they are NOT supposed to work? Maybe it’s a decision that I’m making and keep making that keeps allowing me to be stuck!?! Hmmm.

What started out good but didn’t end the same could be the best experience needed to move forward in the right direction at the right time, and wasn’t wasted time or relationships after all! If I put my pride aside and look in the mirror, I’m actually saving time, and learning to find the answers in myself since that is where my dreams & wildest desires live.

There is no need to keep going the wrong way just because you’re already there. When you start, you should finish but don’t finish something that needs to be started over…. Stop, Put Your Pride Aside, and Look In the Mirror!

Whether we realize it or not, the thought of a goal to a dream, or a goal with an end is the reason we stepped this way or that way, said yes or no, left early or stayed late. The possibly hidden intentions of our actions open the door to manifest success or failure.