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I write what I speak 2: The cost of comparison.

“To understand the cost of comparison is to go beyond the thought of ‘I have high self-esteem…you’re not talking about me…I don’t compare myself to others’ and look a little deeper.”-Memoir of how I learned depths of the truth (that would be a really good book… mention GYC Girl YOU Crazy if you write it…Mmmhmm)

“Don’t attempt to compete through comparison, instead live the life you were given pausing at times to recognize/acknowledge what you deserve to receive.”-Compliments and Comparison are not needed

Appetizer GYC Side Note…Be clear…I enjoy receiving compliments but they are not necessary or relevant to the definition of our self-worth…it maintains with or without it. Comparison and compliments do not define us.

And we're off!!!

To continue in the path of Is that what YOU think YOU deserve? and POWER STATEMENTS…I wanted to hit the root of this for some of us…

When YOU hear/read the word comparison…what do you think about?

+ Others in comparison to ourselves (looks, successes, connections and everything in between)

+ People against people (looks, successes, connections and everything in between)

+ Past and present

+ What we think we deserve

+ What IS important…and what IS NOT important

…Or all of the above and some!!

For some, we immediately think of 1 (or more) of the same thoughts every time that word is uttered /spoken/written/typed/expressed…

And recently, I’ve experienced wisdom in reflection of comparison from a last-minute trip to the mall and the simplicity of it opened me up to go deeper in understanding comparison, its cost and purpose.

So, I wanted to talk about comparison…

And…the best way for me to work all this out is through quotes and commentary, which is why this is…

I write what I speak 2:

The cost of comparison

Note:

I created GYC’s own quotes and “Crazy…all over the place” commentary (on some) for the sake/reason/purpose of going deeper. The quotes were birthed in and from real situations, conversations, and observation.

And the story of Comparison through GYC Quotes unfolds…well more like an open letter with notes from me, to me just written for all to see…

Dear _________________,

“Don't compare, you're not competing.”

GYC Commentary:

You’re not competing to live the life that you have, purpose gives us direction and destination points meant for us to live, and fit perfect with a fight we can/will win…the fight to be the true us. Comparison won’t help but it will hold us up, and keep us stuck in thinking…

+ We can compete for “opportunities” that are not ours…

+ That someone else can compete with what was designed for only us to fulfill…

+ The past (and its people) is more deserving and its works are more important than our present and future…  

+ Etc…

“Let the confidence of another encourage you.”-Neglect Comparison

Now let’s go deeper because your life is M-O-R-E,

“Wisdom speaks through processed experiences, pain may be part of the story but it doesn’t hold the microphone.”

GYC Commentary:

Have you ever been given advice through a horror story…that really had no explanation other than the person getting hurt…and their pain being a warning…???

As much as I appreciate a “danger do not enter” sign… I’m hesitant to receive the information when its warning is delivered through someone not standing in front of the sign confirming its reality…as in, he/she isn’t currently experiencing it and giving all the present details.

Wisdom doesn’t come because YOU, ME, WE experienced the pain or situation…it comes when WE decide to process the pain or situation.

I feel like in every step I take forward is a fight to keep off the

Comparison of past hurts to future events that have yet to happen…

Take a minute…

Think about it…

As in attempting to compete with the past in my present…something that is over, done, only can be lived again if I decide to live the same actions… I do not know what is going to happen (I kicked my “predicting the future” habit)!

“Pain can’t and will not hold the microphone or my attention because I’ll miss Wisdom.”

Wisdom will never stop YOU, ME, WE from living an amazing life of purpose just because we or someone else experienced hurt in the past.

“You can try to relate the two but it CAN take from YOU what is meant for YOU.”

GYC Commentary:

It’s not about the details… it’s about what is actually designed and designated for US to receive…we can go through life comparing all day long… thinking this is how to make important decisions and miss what is actually for us in its designated time.

Think about all the Romantic Comedies (which I LOVE!!!)… Where the guy who is also an underdog…tries to compete against the guy with all the flash, “class” and cash (HA!!) for the girl…

Now think about the reality of it…

Comparison can rob YOU of the seeds YOU have planted…thinking there must be an easier, faster, more appealing way or that we can compete through comparing ourselves and circumstances (versus research) to another that never lived a day in our shoes and isn’t meant to…for a prize…which either IS or IS NOT ours (regardless of how the fight looks…HELLO!!!).

“If you don’t make a decision, you'll end up with nothing and in some cases we are destined to have both.”

GYC Commentary:

Comparing can talk you out of a decision because it gives you way more things to consider beyond what you want and need.

So… here is the mall story I was talking about in the beginning…

The mall story: So, this past weekend I went to the mall…something I rarely do now…New York turned me against the format plus I hate 50 people asking me "do I need help"…NO, NO I DON’T!!! Anyway, I wanted to go to Pinkberry and H&M…2 of my most frequented spots when I lived in NY but to find them together in MI….OH YES…especially since I had a free Pinkberry coming my way!!!

However, the mall closed at 9pm, I’ve never been to either at this mall…so I don’t know where they’re located…oh, and I’m still on the expressway with my mom…at 8:30pm (taking much longer than I thought it would take to get there)…yea!

Now let’s talk comparison…

Welcome to the other side of my personal life…

+ In the car I’m thinking back and forth on how to get both or does one have higher importance over the other. Maybe I can come back another day and just pay for the yogurt when I’m feeling the urge…

+ Both have time sensitive products…that I don’t need…I just Desire them on a serious note!

++ My free yogurt expires at the end of August…I didn’t think I was going to be able to use it…since I had NO IDEA there was a Pinkberry here!!! And I only got it in NY recently just because I love to join a free and rewarding club!

++ H&M carries a hat I wear for a price I agree with…but I can’t seem to find the one I already own…and it’s one of the looks for my current hairstyle…which has an end date…

+ My mom can go and get the yogurt while I get the hat…even though she walks much slower than I do… or maybe they’re right next door to each other…or my mom can wait in front of Pinkberry and plead with them not to close before I get there…

Yep, that’s right…I’m contemplating Plan A, Plan B…not Plan what’s meant to BE!!!

Then we parked…and I jogged to the door…

In all this comparison about frivolous/unnecessary/unimportant to living daily life things… I decided…

Instead of living compared, make the decision to just live and I was able to do and have both (with time to enjoy it all)…What is for me…is for ME.

Comparison is a thief and one of slewfoots' good buddies...

“Girl YOU, ME WE ain’t Crazy!”

“It’s always a risk to believe just like it’s a risk not to!”

GYC Commentary:

Comparing will keep you from what is for you.... I let go of comparison and went for all of what I wanted and I found out that I could have both...

Why do YOU compare?

Daily discuss your purpose and you'll find that purpose isn’t moved by comparison because it knows your definition and self-worth.

GYC Side Note: The littlest things are important to be.

“Let faith come out of your own mouth...only you know what it's like to be you. Speak loud and allow your hope to breathe.”

“The conversation you don’t have can be the problem you have later.”

GYC Commentary:

If you’re waiting to discuss something with yourself or someone else…wait no longer because eventually the issue will grow from an anthill into a _________ you know the rest…making the conversation deeper than what it initially was!

I know comparison is a topic that many (including me) like to tweet, and post, but if the conversation was and is never truly part of self-reflection…it will be the problem YOU, ME, WE have later…and everyone will see.

What word(s) is part of your vocabulary that YOU

need to reflect on?

Don’t wait because avoiding it may rob you of what was to come from it.

“I don’t compare, it’s a waste of my time to compete… I’m deserving of my own victory story.”

Defeating Crazy with COURAGEOUS,

Lauren Alicia, Miss GYCGirl…Living Without Comparison!!!

GYC Week Wrap-Up: Purpose allows you to celebrate & share what you know

“I’m more interested in my purpose than my past or mistakes because as I walk in forgiveness of self…so shall I walk worthy in the promise of my purpose.”-Today speaking to Tomorrow

“Know that YOU have a purpose and allow its promise to keep you focused!”-Someone wanting you to fight off distractions

“Mistakes don’t last, purpose does…so allow the purpose that’s in you to work through you into your reality.”-Truth

If you missed last Thursday’s What Is Beauty? Campaign Google+ Hangout with me, Lauren Alicia…not an issue…scroll till you see the video!!!

But here are my notes…

You may not think that you have a purpose or a purpose greater than the “thing” you are pursuing/doing today…

You may not know that you have the ability to change the world…

Or moments of unworthiness keep you from approaching what you know belongs to you…

…Or maybe none of the above applies to you and you just want to know what GYCGirl is talking about…

It’s cool!!!

But please know that I am able to talk about having a purpose because I’ve felt like all of the above before, and I’m on the other side and fighting to remain on the other side right now…

And let’s get 1 thing clear…

THERE ARE NO IF’S, AND’S OR BUT’S ABOUT WHETHER OR NOT YOU HAVE A PURPOSE, IT’S NOT UP FOR QUESTIONING “IF” YOU DO.

What you need to know is…

“What is it?”

What I understand in realizing I have a purpose are 4 things:

1.Forgive yourself of your past, mistakes, feelings of unworthiness…whatever could be holding you back or placing you in moments of self-doubt!

When we continuously forgive ourselves of the past, we no longer accept the fact that we are not good enough because of this or that. Forgiving ourselves allows us to know that our mistakes are not the end of the world and that we can get back up to turn in the right direction.

When I learned to say “I was/am wrong” I allowed for growth in my life as the knowledge and understanding of what it means to walk worthy regardless of your past, showed me, forgiveness is the most amazing repair kit.

2.Accept that you do have a purpose no matter how much you question otherwise!

You could be having the worst day ever where everything is going wrong, no one understands what you’re talking about, and it seems like no one cares…AND YOU WILL STILL HAVE A PURPOSE that needs YOU to LIVE IT OUT!

Accepting that you have a purpose is a matter of using your voice and walking worthy, which is why forgiveness of self is so important…without it you might think that NO one wants to hear what you have to say, ever!

Then, the other side of that is…going in the wrong direction…and thinking that your purpose changed its mind…FALSE!!!!!!!!!!!! You can attempt to do everything possible in the opposite direction and your purpose will still be there waiting and sending a million signs to turn around!

No matter how rough life gets…YOU ALWAYS HAVE A PURPOSE TO FULFILL AND THE WORLD IS WAITING FOR IT…so those behind you can carry the baton next.

We all have a role to play, the world and generations after NEED us to play are part!

3.Understand Rejection| What it is and is not!

If everyone said, “No” would you think your purpose no longer existed???

Understand what rejection is and is not…PLEASE!!!

The simplest way that I can explain it is…

Rejection is not a reflection of YOU but a reflection of what does not belong to YOU.

Allow what is for you to be for you because only we are fit (and able) to handle what belongs to us…so, be confident in who you are and thankful for the no’s and the yes’s.

Be thankful when people say, “NO” because it allows and prepares you for the right people to say, “YES”!

GYC Side Note (Quick) Rant: Please reflect before taking the advice from someone (family, friend or acquaintance) to beat down a closed door…because you just may be attempting to remain traveling in the wrong direction…please don’t live distracted or sign for packages from slewfoot!!!

4.Enjoy the journey of getting to know yourself…live the dream you dream!

Because I’m in the process and continuously surrendering who I am today for who I might be tomorrow…I’ve recognized that although I have BIG DREAMS…my purpose has allowed for smaller dreams in between!

And the special thing about that is…those smaller dreams are just as important and necessary for me to achieve if I want to go after the bigger dreams...fulfilling my purpose.

Remember small can land on greater!

&

It can start as a seed and grow into a tree!

GYC: "I Have A Purpose"

“I Have A Purpose” GYC Mirror Checks:

When you look in the mirror aside from many things to remember…REMEMBER no matter the situation you are still here and purpose is working through you…so, let it work out of you and enter your reality!

+ I am not my mistake(s).

+ I am worthy and deserving.

+ I am designed with a purpose that only I can fulfill.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/gycgirlyoucrazy/sets/72157634301195210/with/9159930437/

Because I drink from the endless well…I write what I speak and I speak what I write…allowing that which is in me to not fight but create through the fight to be me!

“Girl that’s deep!” I know that’s what you were thinking…so I said it!

I’m almost done…I’ll end with this short letter to YOU!

Dear _____________ <<<[insert name here]

Thank you for celebrating and embracing the COURAGEOUS YOU even when people called you crazy, didn’t believe in your dreams…you remained (even if you didn’t realize it). Thank you for being YOU, you serve as a reminder that we are designed to only be us.

Thank you for celebrating GYC’s 1-year Anniversary, we will continue to grow together!

From one GYCGirl to another…

I have nothing but LOVE for YOU,

Lauren Alicia

“Purpose will allow you to see…how greatly YOU are designed.”-GYC

Last Quick GYC Note:

To know you have a purpose is to know that you have power, and when you pursue that purpose…you will be known as a powerful, no limits woman walking worthy in her purpose!!! >>>“The most common way people give up their power is by thinking they don't have any.”-Alice Walker

When a Stranger Lingers… Part 1: Funky guests make your whole house funky

“When we grow…we need to know, WHO didn’t grow with us. Then distinguish if they are the one’s farting on our forward motion vibe.”-GYCGirl…Keeping the TRUTH Simple

“Attitudes are contagious and sometimes place you in bad associations…when the people you choose to hang with…do the things you no longer do.”-Someone in Recovery of an Attitude Change!

You know that moment in your life when a profound movie/TV quote comes on…and you are in TOTAL agreement…

Like the script was meant to talk YOU specifically about that issue???

I know I am not by myself…

Well, my quote is…

“I didn’t change; I grew-up.”

(I do not know the originator of this quote but I did Google it…and Drake was Not the 1st so…if you know…please enlighten me…thank you!)

Take a moment…

Think on it…whether you had to say it to someone or maybe he/she said it to YOU…

No judgment…WE are all growing here!!!

But,

It seems like every time we enter a new season (in life…not weather…well maybe…), some people around us become dead weight that we need to remove so we can move…forward, and meet the amazing people meant for our right now season:

+People that will help us grow and not find joy in keeping us stuck with them.

+People that understand and Respect that our old ways and habits…are OVER, and if they help keep/maintain/give us a reality check…how much greater of a friend YOU, Me, WE can be for them.

It’s like our senses changed…

What once smelled delightful or was enjoyable is now funky and messes up the vibe of whatever good we are trying to pursue…

Our new tolerance begins to be open to attract what pleases/embraces/encourages our new mindset…and we realize “Funky guest make your whole house funky” and at some point we MUST HAVE been the funky guest too…messing up the vibe and/or holding people back!!

When we grow, at some point we have to let go to keep growing.

---I think this lesson we have to live and cannot only be told.---

Because if we can be honest…and GYC usually is…HELLO!!!

There is always someone there when you grow up whether past or new that presents the setback of stepping back…and it’s our responsibility to locate, recognize and decide to keep moving forward with or without them.

My own found truth/Quick Rant (let my grammar do what it wants…)…before I tell a GYC Personal Story…

I later realized that the people I let go of for a season or possibly for good kept me in habits that pushed me nowhere but around…and wondering are they really my friend???...Because in that transitioning state I began to question…Am I funky or is it my guest because I think I’m growing up and moving forward but every time I get around so-and-so or hickamado (if you have grandparents from the south…ask them!)…I can’t tell the difference between who I am and who I was!!! 

When we change for the better on the inside…it should be reflected in our outer actions.

It’s up to us to provide the possible choices of how people decide to perceive us through our decisions of what we keep around us. At some point, when our character changes…so shall our guests.

GYC Personal Story

I want to give a GYC Personal Story…but I have SO MANY examples of this…and I’m sure YOU do too…but I’ll keep it light and people from wondering if I’m talking about them…for the most part…

“I speak of the past so you may know submitting to the process allows you to be built to last.”-Me

So…

I think I’ll tell 2 possibly quick stories…and see where we land!

Let’s start in the 2nd or maybe it was the 1st grade (whatevs),

There was this girl that I considered my best friend…who happened to be picking on/possibly bullying another girl from my neighborhood of which my then best friend is not from…but from what I do recall…they were going back and forth at each other.

HOWEVER, by the end of these events, the next day I walked home taking my usual route…and I was aggressively greeted by the brother and sister of the girl my then best friend had exchanged words with…

That’s right, I was pushed up against a fence and questioned about the words/actions that took place and did not involve me at all…I WAS ALMOST JUMPED for association in the 2nd grade! Until I threw that then best friend all the way under the bus!!! Please excuse me but I have never been one to play those games…I need my life (undamaged)!

If you don’t get down with what is going down…you need to find some new friends to be around.

Long story short…I did my best to stop recruiting or accepting friends that could potentially get me beat-up for their actions…until this one instance…I won’t discuss it, it was just crazy that as I mature, I keep having to learn this lesson with new people…

But anyway… I will tell of the story behind the title before I close!!!

So, I had a roommate (in college)…I won’t say which year but she often had guests over that were interesting in different sorts…and some of the guests…I did reject their sleepover requests…

But one in particular (oh yes!)…I’m pretty sure was a stranger (although she attempted other strangers in our dorm room)…this one was female and friendly plus our other roommate was there as well (for extra eyes on our things)… and made us not so alarmed by her presence as with the strange men.

However, let’s get specific…

Homegirl needed deodorant on a serious level…the funk filled our room (which was not small) with her funk for several hours even after she left!!!!

The other roommate and I cried laughing after the 2 of them left…because of how long and how much Febreeze we needed to change the situation…

Therefore, Funky guests make your whole house funky, as do funky attitudes.

Let me say this…and I’m done…yep GYC Rant Style

When we grow-up, mature, think a lil’ more about our actions and consequences…we have no choice but to start giving time to the things that will grow us in our new thinking…aka…stop hanging around funky people if you ain’t funky no more!!! Also…funky is not just bad attitude…I’m including people with small thinking…if your thinking has become bigger and you finally have realized the endless possibilities of your abilities…STOP discussing this with people who have yet to realize their own…just inform them that they have a truth bigger than what they are living right now and they NEED to access IT!!! …It seriously is TIME UP for maintaining BAD relationships at the cost of your growth!!! If YOU, ME, WE don’t… our house will be FUNKY even after we clean up, bathe, brush our teeth, put on deodorant and all of that!!! STOP WELCOMING FUNKY GUESTS IN YOUR PERSONAL SPACE…

I know you’re thinking… “Girl YOU Crazy!!!!!!!!!!!! But she is telling the TRUTH!!!”

Listen…we are in this together…because Girl…YOU, ME, WE are going to the next level and funky guest are not welcome!!!

Last Notes in GYC Quotes

“If you want to attract new people with different attitudes…stop inviting the old ones with funky attitudes.”-Sounds like something your mother might say…it’s cool…some have called me Mama Lauren!!!

“If you offer someone with bad breath a mint and they won’t take it…walk away because they are not ready for change.”-The Truth (if you ever heard it!!!)

I’ll give you a minute to think on that…

“You are better than your past because you are still here in the present…so walk worthy in your position by being selective of who you give permission...to walk with you.”-Just GYC…no extra commentary

Join us next week on Thursday at 7pm EST for our Google+ Hangout for the What is Beauty? Campaign...where I will be speaking on "Purpose"...and celebrating GYC's 1 year anniversary on June 25th! Then on July 1st 8th, join us right here for Part 2 of the "When a Stranger Lingers..." If YOU missed the introduction, click here

When a Stranger Lingers: The Introduction | Let’s quote "The Godfather…"

Let’s quote The Godfather…

Or Sun-Tzu…whatever!!!!!!!

“Keep your friends close but your enemies closer”

Then place this quote in the T-R-A-S-H!!!

Please Note… if you use that phrase and give it out as advice…you ARE NOT GOING TO LIKE THIS POST but YOU just may need this series!!!!

Because Girl YOU Crazy to allow strangers to linger like friends who are eager about your forward progress with nothing to gain…

My enemies (and yours neither) do NOT need to be kept close, closer, or kept anywhere near me at all…NO DAY!!!!!

“Yea I said it!”

Whelp…seems like I dived right into that…so let me back up slowly…but surely speed up to approach this series, as my excitement WILL rise as I discuss this topic!

Okay? Okay.

Welcome to the "When a Stranger Lingers" Series

(I have yet to think of a graphic for the series...this life is a process...we shall see what I come up with!)

I feel like this series/post has been a long time coming since the “Girl YOU Crazy” face is usually given and influential by those who have some kind of influence in our lives…and knowing if that influence is helpful or handicapping to our progress!

In thinking about this…

The overly used phrase…and made oh so popular by The Godfather, “Keep your friends close but your enemies closer” came to mind.

And what better way to open up a series on the people you keep around you... than with that silliness!? I mean really???

Girl…

So let’s get into it!

How often do we maintain “friendships” or “acquaintances” with people WE have allowed to hold us back, and/or mar/diminish/destroy our self-worth because he/she’s opinion has more weight in our life than the truth?

Take a moment…

Maintaining friendly contact with an enemy because we think we will get ahead or gain something by association…

Or maybe YOU call it "not burning your bridges"…

GYC Side Note/Quick Rant… This is not about business but about people you allow to be part of your personal life…YES, I do know that YOU have enemies you may have to work with or need to help you complete a professional task. This is different; there are boundaries!!! And just in case you’re wondering how I know this at 23… I’ve had my eyes open for a long time and since I was a kid, I had others attempt to compete with me and call me friend…Even then…I knew you don’t compete with friends…and as I matured, I realized you don’t compete with ANYONE (What is for me is for me!)…Because it has no end…it’s pointless!!!

If we knowingly keep people around us that do not wish us well, won’t tell us the truth, help us grow, or cheer us on…how can we habitually live successful, walk in our definition and be courageous?

When we know who we are…we need to remember there ARE people equipped to handle who we are even through struggle…and be our support without hidden intentions or sabotaging motives.

Join us to see what journey the entire series has in store as GYC approaches its 1-year anniversary June 25th!!!

As we uncover the GYC-ness of friendships or the people we keep around us…Remember:

“When YOU want to succeed…Surround yourself with people that want YOU to succeed!”-GYCGirlYOUCrazy

Endless Dreams Foundation & GYC Girl YOU Crazy| What Is Beauty? Campaign: Sisterhood conversation re-cap

“Sisterhood contains the beauty of friendship that creates a bond where friendship & family mean the same thing.”-What Is Beauty? Campaign

“Sisterhood shows the beauty of support as it embraces the fact that we are not alone!” #WhatIsBeauty

Beauty is...

I will be speaking June 27th...

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