I write what I speak 2: The cost of comparison.

“To understand the cost of comparison is to go beyond the thought of ‘I have high self-esteem…you’re not talking about me…I don’t compare myself to others’ and look a little deeper.”-Memoir of how I learned depths of the truth (that would be a really good book… mention GYC Girl YOU Crazy if you write it…Mmmhmm)

“Don’t attempt to compete through comparison, instead live the life you were given pausing at times to recognize/acknowledge what you deserve to receive.”-Compliments and Comparison are not needed

Appetizer GYC Side Note…Be clear…I enjoy receiving compliments but they are not necessary or relevant to the definition of our self-worth…it maintains with or without it. Comparison and compliments do not define us.

And we're off!!!

To continue in the path of Is that what YOU think YOU deserve? and POWER STATEMENTS…I wanted to hit the root of this for some of us…

When YOU hear/read the word comparison…what do you think about?

+ Others in comparison to ourselves (looks, successes, connections and everything in between)

+ People against people (looks, successes, connections and everything in between)

+ Past and present

+ What we think we deserve

+ What IS important…and what IS NOT important

…Or all of the above and some!!

For some, we immediately think of 1 (or more) of the same thoughts every time that word is uttered /spoken/written/typed/expressed…

And recently, I’ve experienced wisdom in reflection of comparison from a last-minute trip to the mall and the simplicity of it opened me up to go deeper in understanding comparison, its cost and purpose.

So, I wanted to talk about comparison…

And…the best way for me to work all this out is through quotes and commentary, which is why this is…

I write what I speak 2:

The cost of comparison

Note:

I created GYC’s own quotes and “Crazy…all over the place” commentary (on some) for the sake/reason/purpose of going deeper. The quotes were birthed in and from real situations, conversations, and observation.

And the story of Comparison through GYC Quotes unfolds…well more like an open letter with notes from me, to me just written for all to see…

Dear _________________,

“Don't compare, you're not competing.”

GYC Commentary:

You’re not competing to live the life that you have, purpose gives us direction and destination points meant for us to live, and fit perfect with a fight we can/will win…the fight to be the true us. Comparison won’t help but it will hold us up, and keep us stuck in thinking…

+ We can compete for “opportunities” that are not ours…

+ That someone else can compete with what was designed for only us to fulfill…

+ The past (and its people) is more deserving and its works are more important than our present and future…  

+ Etc…

“Let the confidence of another encourage you.”-Neglect Comparison

Now let’s go deeper because your life is M-O-R-E,

“Wisdom speaks through processed experiences, pain may be part of the story but it doesn’t hold the microphone.”

GYC Commentary:

Have you ever been given advice through a horror story…that really had no explanation other than the person getting hurt…and their pain being a warning…???

As much as I appreciate a “danger do not enter” sign… I’m hesitant to receive the information when its warning is delivered through someone not standing in front of the sign confirming its reality…as in, he/she isn’t currently experiencing it and giving all the present details.

Wisdom doesn’t come because YOU, ME, WE experienced the pain or situation…it comes when WE decide to process the pain or situation.

I feel like in every step I take forward is a fight to keep off the

Comparison of past hurts to future events that have yet to happen…

Take a minute…

Think about it…

As in attempting to compete with the past in my present…something that is over, done, only can be lived again if I decide to live the same actions… I do not know what is going to happen (I kicked my “predicting the future” habit)!

“Pain can’t and will not hold the microphone or my attention because I’ll miss Wisdom.”

Wisdom will never stop YOU, ME, WE from living an amazing life of purpose just because we or someone else experienced hurt in the past.

“You can try to relate the two but it CAN take from YOU what is meant for YOU.”

GYC Commentary:

It’s not about the details… it’s about what is actually designed and designated for US to receive…we can go through life comparing all day long… thinking this is how to make important decisions and miss what is actually for us in its designated time.

Think about all the Romantic Comedies (which I LOVE!!!)… Where the guy who is also an underdog…tries to compete against the guy with all the flash, “class” and cash (HA!!) for the girl…

Now think about the reality of it…

Comparison can rob YOU of the seeds YOU have planted…thinking there must be an easier, faster, more appealing way or that we can compete through comparing ourselves and circumstances (versus research) to another that never lived a day in our shoes and isn’t meant to…for a prize…which either IS or IS NOT ours (regardless of how the fight looks…HELLO!!!).

“If you don’t make a decision, you'll end up with nothing and in some cases we are destined to have both.”

GYC Commentary:

Comparing can talk you out of a decision because it gives you way more things to consider beyond what you want and need.

So… here is the mall story I was talking about in the beginning…

The mall story: So, this past weekend I went to the mall…something I rarely do now…New York turned me against the format plus I hate 50 people asking me "do I need help"…NO, NO I DON’T!!! Anyway, I wanted to go to Pinkberry and H&M…2 of my most frequented spots when I lived in NY but to find them together in MI….OH YES…especially since I had a free Pinkberry coming my way!!!

However, the mall closed at 9pm, I’ve never been to either at this mall…so I don’t know where they’re located…oh, and I’m still on the expressway with my mom…at 8:30pm (taking much longer than I thought it would take to get there)…yea!

Now let’s talk comparison…

Welcome to the other side of my personal life…

+ In the car I’m thinking back and forth on how to get both or does one have higher importance over the other. Maybe I can come back another day and just pay for the yogurt when I’m feeling the urge…

+ Both have time sensitive products…that I don’t need…I just Desire them on a serious note!

++ My free yogurt expires at the end of August…I didn’t think I was going to be able to use it…since I had NO IDEA there was a Pinkberry here!!! And I only got it in NY recently just because I love to join a free and rewarding club!

++ H&M carries a hat I wear for a price I agree with…but I can’t seem to find the one I already own…and it’s one of the looks for my current hairstyle…which has an end date…

+ My mom can go and get the yogurt while I get the hat…even though she walks much slower than I do… or maybe they’re right next door to each other…or my mom can wait in front of Pinkberry and plead with them not to close before I get there…

Yep, that’s right…I’m contemplating Plan A, Plan B…not Plan what’s meant to BE!!!

Then we parked…and I jogged to the door…

In all this comparison about frivolous/unnecessary/unimportant to living daily life things… I decided…

Instead of living compared, make the decision to just live and I was able to do and have both (with time to enjoy it all)…What is for me…is for ME.

Comparison is a thief and one of slewfoots' good buddies...

“Girl YOU, ME WE ain’t Crazy!”

“It’s always a risk to believe just like it’s a risk not to!”

GYC Commentary:

Comparing will keep you from what is for you.... I let go of comparison and went for all of what I wanted and I found out that I could have both...

Why do YOU compare?

Daily discuss your purpose and you'll find that purpose isn’t moved by comparison because it knows your definition and self-worth.

GYC Side Note: The littlest things are important to be.

“Let faith come out of your own mouth...only you know what it's like to be you. Speak loud and allow your hope to breathe.”

“The conversation you don’t have can be the problem you have later.”

GYC Commentary:

If you’re waiting to discuss something with yourself or someone else…wait no longer because eventually the issue will grow from an anthill into a _________ you know the rest…making the conversation deeper than what it initially was!

I know comparison is a topic that many (including me) like to tweet, and post, but if the conversation was and is never truly part of self-reflection…it will be the problem YOU, ME, WE have later…and everyone will see.

What word(s) is part of your vocabulary that YOU

need to reflect on?

Don’t wait because avoiding it may rob you of what was to come from it.

“I don’t compare, it’s a waste of my time to compete… I’m deserving of my own victory story.”

Defeating Crazy with COURAGEOUS,

Lauren Alicia, Miss GYCGirl…Living Without Comparison!!!

Neglect YOUR Fears

“Neglect your fears and stop sitting on the sideline…this position was created for YOU, so play it!”

 –Success saying, “You can’t win if you don’t play”

“Neglect your fears and nurture your passion.”

-YOUR passion telling YOU that victory is on the other side of fear

Remember when someone would pick on us and we’d say “LEAVE ME ALONE,” then later go play with them again…like it never happened…or maybe you’re that person that once you say it, it is set in stone and there is no changing your mind---“Leave me alone, means LEAVE ME ALONE”!

Whichever one you were or maybe still are…sometimes (that’s your business) but when it comes to fear, we may want to say “leave me alone” and keep going but sometimes/other times when fear knocks we…

            -Get up

- Ask who it is

-UPS says “I have package for you”

-We open the door

-It’s a BIG box stamped FEAR in pretty letters

            -We say, “hmm that’s weird” and bring it inside

-And before we know it, we're digging through that BIG Box of Fear!

…Signed for the package and opened it!!

Fear likes to appear comforting, attractive, and as if it’s on your team…preparing you!

GYC Personal Story:

I could tell many stories from my life where fear came to my door and I signed for the package… sat there with it eating dinner & dessert, etc. but I won’t because I’d rather tell a story of victory.

YOU know why???

…Because many people say that it’s normal to have fear and all of that…when actually, IT IS NOT…fear and doubt are twin brothers and have no business near “normal” YOU and YOUR precious future and next steps toward your goals!

                                               

If fear is supposed to be so normal, then why do so many people have a difficult time neglecting fear so it will die and be conquered?

Now, I’ll tell my story:

I was in one of my favorite college professor’s class during my junior year, and I was having a hard time getting a B and even harder time getting my A (yes I was one of those students!). However, we had one last exam for me to get back in the game!

I studied, and I studied hard…well more smart this time, as in I actually taught myself the material instead of simply memorizing it (which has worked in the past…just not for this specific/particular class).

The next day, I go to class…READY for this exam, I’m confident and bold with my answers…talking to the test and writing notes on it as if I’m in a business meeting ready for war with anyone with anything against me (or my answers)!

I finish the exam with confidence (or so I think…keep reading), the whole class goes on break, I go to the Jamba Juice for some delicious oatmeal because I deserve it…

I come back, and I start eating the oatmeal…

He looks at my oatmeal and me, then smirks

(pause: at this moment, I’m thinking that he is going to ask me about my oatmeal & where I bought it…because he does stuff like that)

and says “Can I see you out in the hallway”?

I don’t care how old YOU, ME, WE get…when someone asks “Can I see you out in the hallway?”---We immediately think “OMG What I do, WHAT Happened??? OMG” (maybe not as dramatic…but close enough).

In this moment, I’m thinking ALL bad things such as:

            +I failed this test

            +I failed this class

+He is going to tell me not to come back because there is NO HOPE…

            ----If it was bad, sad and ridiculous, I was thinking it…

BUT THEN…oh how a “but” & a comma can change a story…and emotions!

I hear my inner voice push through and say, “Keep Your Head Up” and repeated itself, “Keep Your Head Up” because I was walking like Slewfoot came to town just for me!

So my professor and I are out in the hallway facing each other (my heart is beating super fast as I push through to keep my head up)…and he looks at me as he says, “I graded a few of the tests” (I’m THINKING O-M-G-----as my eyes get big for a “quick” second and I force myself to maintain eye contact).

---------------------Are YOU ready for this next moment???

He says, “I graded a few of the tests already and you had one of the highest grades in the class. I called you out here because I wanted to shake your hand and tell you that I believe you are going to do really well in business just keep practicing, and you will do really well.”

------------SHUT THE NOISE!!!! I went to the bathroom and called my mom and did a lil shoulder dance & grinned all the way through class!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

FEAR… CONSIDER YOURSELF NEGLECTED!!!

(Because I will punch you in the face with that same story every time you think you’re going to stop me!!!)

GYC Rant of the TRUTH (yes I know this is an ongoing/run-on sentence):

Fear likes to come when it’s our turn to get in the game, and start talking to us like an old friend…that is an old friend (we don’t talk to any more) for a reason and needs to be NEGLECTED and kicked to the curb…our relationship does not live here anymore, stop sending the UPS man to my door (or whatever mail package carrier you prefer…fear does like to use who/what you already know to twist the facts)!!!

**Use stories of victory over fear to neglect fear…and it will die from starvation**

Declaration: It is not normal for ME to be/live in fear; the fact that it’s here must mean that victory is near!!! So UPS man, you can go away because I AIN’T (yep AIN’T) signing for that package…return to sender!!!!!

Last Thoughts:

“If you feed your fears with attention, you’ll be too fat to move forward.”-GYC Girl YOU Crazy

You are BOLD, BOLD, BOLD…that’s what I tell myself when I’m facing great opportunity and fear starts flapping!---And YOU should too!!!

*By the way, I really like my UPS carrier/man…I’m just not signing for ANY packages labeled FEAR---Do YOU hear ME?!?!*