Tell Me What They Taught YOU... HAPPY INTERNATIONAL WOMEN'S DAY!

 Tell Me What They Taught YOU

The way YOU treat people will give THEM a life of lessons…

And they might remember your name... just saying...

Move accordingly! 😉

HAPPY NEW YEAR/ HAPPY WOMEN'S HISTORY MONTH/ HAPPY INTERNATIONAL WOMEN'S DAY Y’ALL!!! I wanted to end the year with this post, but I let time get away from me…I admit! However, we’ll start the year (new month, sorta) off with some food for thought. While it may not bring you luck like collard greens, black-eyed peas and a rabbit's foot…Mmmmhmmm HA! 

I hope it engages YOUR PERSPECTIVE.

 

I want this post to seem sensitive…

because it is…

but also self-reflective…

because it is…

but also, to help strengthen our level of compassion…

because we all need more.

Tell Me what they taught you…I wanna know!

Girl, first of all… WHO ARE ‘THEY’? what are WE talking about?

Is this a group, parent(s), 1^st grade teacher, friends…WHO?

They are the ones that raised you, grew you, expanded you and/or made a turning point in your life …so whoever/whomever, they are…

What did they teach YOU?

 I won’t get into the specifics of the “they” in my life but some specific things ‘they’ taught me…I want YOU to know for yourself and teach them to someone else.

Remember how I told y’all that I’m privy to some ‘interesting’ conversations…well they are still going on and it has me wondering…

what have some people been taught? Like… have you directly been taught this, or did someone’s actions (or lack thereof) teach you this…why is this a part of your conversation, thought process, values, etc.?

Maybe I should change this to ‘everything a daughter should know’ ???? Hmm?

IDK but I want this information out in the world on one page…

 

IT HAS TO BE SAID.

                                  

1. YOU don’t beg anyone to care about YOU. Either they do or they don’t… just let them know what is important to you.

2. You’re no one’s savior even if you've helped them. Making yourself feel obligated to someone when you’re not a licensed professional to deal with their situation(s) is dangerous. Pray and keep it moving.

3. You’re loved and filled with Purpose…nothing will EVER change that.

 

4. No one’s beauty compares to yours…I don’t care what anybody says…GIRL, NO ONE IS YOU.  

        I NEED YOU to understand that you’re beautiful without looking outside the mirror. My mother taught me that I am who I am without any other opinion, it is instilled in me from childhood. I met someone that tried to mar my thoughts of self…I no longer know that person. Trying to make me feel the same size as you will never keep me in the same room with you…no, thank you. Go. Vai.

 

But seriously…once YOU KNOW THIS ABOUT YOURSELF…STOP looking for outside confirmation of YOUR BEAUTY.

5. Your choices are yours. Don’t be (a)shamed for putting you first. There will always be someone ready to blame YOU…so own what you do, the good and bad. And keep it pushing.

 

6. Protecting your peace reflects valuing your peace. I’ll be the first to admit that there are parts of the day when I love drama and being a drama queen… BAYBAY but for comedy reasons! The drama I bring tends to be for hilarious or educational purposes. I am not about to start a conversation with someone about something that I know is going to stress me out and not provide any solutions. No, thank you. This does not mean that I don’t let people vent to me, I do, I listen. BUT you listen to my thoughts after, PHAHAHa!

7. The appearance of power will never replace actual power. Take a deep breath and think on that.

 8.  If you change your mind, it’s changed. Learning not to say sorry WILL be a HARD lesson, and I mean hard but necessary. Especially because we say sorry and don’t mean it, way too often.

 

9.   Ignoring warning signs can cost you your life. If they had pre-stalker behavior in the beginning…it will only increase. For example, in the beginning you decided this wasn’t for you, blocked their number because it was done…but soon after, they purchased a new number to get in contact with you. Seems harmless to some but the reality is that this individual is not going to keep getting a new number but find other ways to track you down. The same goes with people you first meet, especially at your job or similar environments. If you think it's something 'off' about them...KEEP YOUR DISTANCE, don't get up close trying to figure them out...TRUST ME, LEAVE THEM ALONE---I've been taught this lesson more than once. Cheers to me actually learning it!

10.  Don’t waste too many people’s time…one or two but don’t make it a habit! This could be dangerous like #9… Some people really think you’re ‘the one’ and wasting their time will hurt.

11.   Everybody does not need to know where and how you live. Stop inviting everybody over and giving out the access code. Protect your space and you’ll know the people and things/habits drilling a hole in your “boat.”

 

 

12. Set up boundaries…they will literally save your life one day whether it is mental or physical.

13.  Lastly, YOU ARE God’s gift. To quote Aaliyah, ‘I’m not just anybody.’ People should know that it is a privilege to know YOU because… well, it is! --More on this later!!

Hey, I hope this was helpful, insightful, and encouraging for the next phase of life! Cheers to a great 2022!!

See you around the world somewhere,

Ms GYC Girl YOU Crazy, Lauren Alicia 

Am I in the wrong place?

 

Am I in the wrong place?

That is one the most profound questions you will ever ask yourself.

Is this where I’m supposed to be?

Right now?

Are these the people I’m supposed to influence?

Or ignore?

Is so-and-so’s concern a sign that I should?

Or a sign that I shouldn’t be here?

We’ve all been there, are still there, just left or maybe even entering this place.

I’m here to tell YOU, it’s not bad to be there. It’s the perfect question to ask yourself.

GYC Girl…, why?

The reason being, if we don’t wonder WHY, we’re there, we’ll never go deeper than what we already think.

 

I ask God all the time,

“Am I doing what you called me to do right now,

in this very moment…

or is this just Lauren being Lauren?”

 I’ll tell you this much…I’ve been privy to some of the dumbest conversations and most times I can easily drown it out…

 

BUT THEN, there are times where some stuff just doesn’t make sense and the person keeps saying the DUMB thing as if they want ME to confirm that it is DUMB (factually).

Short GYC Story…

 I had a co-worker at a foreign company where everyone that entered around the same time has the same paycheck. Long story short, this co-worker came to this job with a girlfriend, they lived in an apartment that was (unnecessarily) expensive, they broke up, he got a new girlfriend that seemed to live there occasionally but not pay rent to prove his status to her or something, IDK the reason on his heart. Anyway, this co-worker was bragging to me about the height of his bills and wanted to know why I lived where I lived.

I let him have this conversation with himself, twice. I know how much we earn, and now, I know what’s left after he gets done stunting…not much!

I asked God why does this boy keep telling me this dumbness?

 SO I decided if he tells me for the third time, I’ll take it as a sign from God to tell him he’s being dumb/foolish/not smart/unrealistic/ridiculous/a dullard, I mean he can’t afford it.

Well, what do you know?

The third time came around and I simply told him we don’t make that much, and your rent is too high for a place that looks like that.

Then, I did something that I unlearned…

 I told him my business.

 I explained that I live in my particular apartment (with a landlord that I’ve now forgiven with the love of the Lord 😉---if YOU ever see my review on Google, I lit him up!) because I’m never there. This is the amount of my monthly bills, I bring a lunch and don’t eat out so I can have a GOOD time when I travel, which was frequent.

The result, he agreed that his bills were too high, probably told his girlfriend what I said but she officially moved in and helps pay the bills. He let me know this! 😉

You’re welcome.

While I admit that I am not the most financially responsible person… I know when I am doing the MUCH (on purpose)!!!

 

Some THINGS simply don’t add up, physically or mentally!!!

 The difference is some people you’ll meet on your journey have yet to discover that for themselves or are afraid of how they may look if they have to reorganize their life. YOU may be the answer to their prayer by telling them to STOP DOING THAT!!! Trust that YOU will KNOW when it is YOUR VOICE and THOUGHTS that they need to hear.

While I HATED working at this particular location…

Yes, there will be a video about WHY on my YouTube channel…don’t be crazy and SUBSCRIBE Girl!!

The reality is I needed to be there, I needed to be used, I needed to deepen my compassion for people like him, GOD sent me there because HE knew that I could handle it…ALL OF IT!

 

I just gave everybody I worked with a say “it (the silly/ridiculous stuff)" 3 times and I will tell you it’s dumb rule. No one ever verbalized the dislike for my opinion and knew where we were on the scale because they could feel MY thoughts coming!!

 

Alright I hear ya BUT I want the focus on ME!!

Listen, that’s another topic for another day but I will say this…

I lived in Japan, specifically Nagoya…and I wondered this. Nagoya is like Chicago and Tokyo is like NYC, both are great but NOT THE SAME VIBE. I am a black woman that has looked the same for many years all that to say, I know how I look, I’ve heard many of the same compliments, I’m not new in this state so hearing them doesn’t entice me or make me forget who I am. Attempting to attack my identity doesn’t work. I’m well-traveled, solo, so I’ve had to depend on ME and confirm everything with myself and whatever knowledge I choose to trust.

 

I knew I was in the right place (at times) in Nagoya because of the impact my presence had on the people, and the company, even if they didn’t say it to my face,

my value was obvious.

 

When I stopped focusing on myself (meaning instant happiness, do they like me/do I like them, and can I really be successful here, right now!) in a location the answer became obvious. I had to look beyond the surface, understand and discover whether I was sowing seeds into their lives, into my life, consider if I was growing, becoming stronger, building endurance, compassion or simply building hate. I had to process my experiences in that moment!!

 

There have only been 2 geographical places in this world that felt the most comfortable outside of my literal home and that is NYC and Milan, Italy. However, I’m not currently living in either of those places because there is more for me to explore.

 

I’ll leave YOU with this…

Sometimes things don’t feel like home because they are not supposed to. Sometimes your current location is simply a work station…for working on YOU and helping the people around you.

 

Question where you are, and YOU’ll go much further!

 

“Your co-workers dumb questions and assumptions could deepen your compassion.”-GYCGirl…Being Honest

 

See you around the world somewhere,

Xx GYC Girl YOU Crazy aka Lauren Alicia

So you're ready to travel solo?! Female SOLO Travel Mindset Checklist

Hello y’all!! Did you get something out of the last post? 

Did it add to your faith? 

Well, I hope it did!!

I was going to post another one on the same theme (kinda)…BUT I’m going to let that one marinate a bit, penetrate the soul and allow you to checkout some of my OLD but ever so RELEVANT POSTS. Rethink giving up and keep on PUSHING!! 

YOU ARE THE ANSWER TO SOMEONE’S PRAYER.

GYC Girl YOU Crazy’s blog is going to be intentional with its posts…but if you want something weekly, subscribe to the YouTube channel!!

 

So… YOU are ready for solo travel? Or you’ve already been and want to make your next trip better?

In this new GYC, I’m going to talk about a little bit of everything. As I mentioned in the last post I’ve been traveling a lot. Since 2016 until now, I’ve traveled ALONE every year (excluding 2017) to multiple foreign countries. So, I’m an expert (international) solo traveler with lots of tips! 

YOU can READ or WATCH BELOW!!

https://youtu.be/e0jxwZdC6T0

1. YOU are the Customer, unless something becomes free don’t let anyone treat you differently.

2. If you are uncomfortable, it’s not right. If you don’t like it, it’s not right.

3. If you don’t like how your tour guide is treating you or behaving, reset the tone. How? Change your seat. This circles back to #1, you are a customer the entire trip. If the guide becomes too comfortable while you are in the front seat, move to the backseat and vice versa.

4.   Be flexible but do what makes you comfortable. If you have a relaxing plan that turns chaotic. Trust me, take a beat and adjust because if you mentally prepared for a relaxing day and the day becomes full of events/ activities…you can easily throw off the vibe and plans of the following day.

5.   YOU are in CHARGE. THIS is YOUR trip. YOUR Journey. If it doesn’t benefit you and you don’t feel like volunteering it, don’t do it. NO will be your best friend on this trip. BE selfish. On solo trips you do not want to feel like things are uneven, like people you don’t know are getting more out of your presence than you are.

6.    Give someone you trust access to your bank account. YOU never want to be in a foreign country and NEED more money and/or not be able to access it.

---------------------------------------- Okay, this is the only one that I need you to figure out; if you don’t have someone…I discourage solo travel. This is the only thing that would make me say don’t do it. 

Quick GYC story, I lived in Japan for 2 years (stories and advice, coming soon…I PROMISE). I had a bank account and because I travel, I had a debit card. Having a debit card or using a debit card isn’t common in Japan because cash is king and there are ATMs everywhere for you to use your cash card or international card… Anyway, unlike banks in the USA, when you ask for a debit card, you write down your pin number for the bank staff member to enter…you don’t punch it into the calculator for accuracy… The staff member thought I wrote some numbers that I did NOT and activated my card with the numbers she thought I wrote. I was able to use this card everywhere that didn’t ask for a pin (not knowing that I have the wrong pin) and like I said…it is more common to use cash. Fast forward, I’m visiting Hong Kong at the Nike store, I’ve ran out of currency, I needed these FLY sneakers…I pull out my debit card, they need my pin (there’s no way around it) and it declines (wrong pin)…WHAT THE #$#$%%, YOOO!!! Anyway, I pulled out my credit card and bought the sneaks. I call the bank to complain/fix it but they only speak Japanese (more on this in another post)… I NEED MY MONEY, the trip is not over and now, my American bank card isn’t working (but I don’t need to be locked out of that, so I leave that alone). I can’t access my money. 

LAUREN, What did YOU do?! I called my trusted person and asked to borrow money where we both have secure access. Done. 

Please do not NEED to do something strange for a piece of change abroad, including scamming. **please pay back your trusted person ASAP so they can remain your trusted person…thanks!! 

I need you to survive, YOU could be the answer to my prayer!! ;-)

***One more thing about your trusted person...especially if it comes down to borrowing, which isn't always the case...BUT make sure this is a person that understands that you need to wait until you are using a trusted internet connection to make the transaction because you don't want to check your sensitive info on every countries internet 👀. Alright, I'm done with that.

7.   Never keep all your money in one place. It is perfectly fine to dig for your money because if you must dig, that makes it harder for a thief to quickly grab, and possibly might decrease the price of what you are buying (specifically in bargaining situations, ex. markets)…win-win.

-------------------I do this all the time for more than one reason but it is extremely helpful to take your time. LET NO ONE RUSH YOU, seriously. 

8.   Know your limits. From alcohol to your bedtime. This will also assist in how you bargain shop. You must know when to walk away. For example, in bargaining situations I have specific things that I always buy on vacation anything else is impulse buying, I know this about myself. If the price isn’t what I’m thinking… respectfully, I am walking away. I rarely come back from vacation with random things, or overpriced stuff that I don’t need or wish I didn’t buy.

9.    While you want to be respectful of different cultures, do NOT be afraid to offend people when you are spending your money. Why? When you are solo traveling with or without a local tour guide, the reality is that you are by yourself (plus the God you serve). Everyone that you meet and pay on your trip has a limited obligation to you… only your opinion matters. Only you know the value of item to YOU. Remember, this trip is about you. DO WHAT YOU WANT and give yourself some grace!

10.    Leave room for change. From hotels to activities to tour guides. Only you matter on this trip.

11.   This is a bonus but probably the most important. Know who you are. If you are passive-aggressive, know that. If you are a flirt, know that. If you are a confident person, don’t forget that. When you are alone in a foreign country, all these things will be tested. However, when you return home or a familiar place, you’ll reflect on the time you had, and realize that all the things you experienced will reform and re-shape the things you already know about yourself (this will make more sense after you return). One of my best examples of this is… NOT needing anybody to confirm the joy of what I experienced. Many people that know/knew me…strongly dislike this about me, BUT I DON’T PROVE NOTHING (NOT A THING) TO NO ONE. Solo travel did that.

Get your mind in check before you travel (alone).

See you around the world somewhere,

xx Lauren Alicia, GYC Girl YOU Crazy (the one and ONLY)

P.S. I have more rules for myself than this…but y’all might actually think that I’m crazy ;-) !! Plus, I’m interested in your tips. Tell me below!!

P.S.S. I know this post might seem mean and self-centered BUT... I want YOU to BE SAFE AND have the best time.

CHECKOUT MY DUBAI VIDEOS!!

Cross the Line

“You were built for this, I got your back, don’t worry, I set you up to win, influence, encourage, take (appeared) risks and enjoy what was and is accomplished.”-Your Purpose Talking

“Start with me and end with me, and you’ll never see a bottom, only opportunity.”-Purpose Still Talking

“Sometimes we maintain where we are because it’s hard to fathom some of the things our purpose asks of us.”-An Understanding Friend that wants YOU to cross the line, or Me (it’s okay if we haven’t met yet)

Welcome!!

…

“Don’t cross the line”

(said with a smile, firm face, hand gestures, bold tone, light tone, wink, anger, or fill-in-the-blank _____ attitude or undertone…)

Your (possible) response: YOU talking to me?? Girl YOU Crazy because you’re not talking to me…

Can we be real…even if that is just how you respond in your head…? Okay, cool thanks!

But wait, let me locate WHO I’m talking to before I fully get in to this, I guess I could have started with that…

1. How many of us have heard that phrase???

2. Now… How many times has someone said it to YOU…(maybe with different words)???

3. And… How many of us cared?!?!? Or the number of times YOU cared??

I see those hands!!

And that’s why you’re on GYC-GirlYOUCrazy.com…WE get each other!

Quick Road Map:

This post is about going deeper in the reasons why we decide/decided to cross the line and the benefits attached to it…and what I mean by crossing the line, me personally, Lauren Alicia (I’m not trying to start any drama…)…if you were wondering!

GYC SideNote: YOU/ME/We are the courageous ones…no matter how “crazy” people say we are [.] Mmmhmm!! Boom tika boom!!

So… let’s get right into it…

I want to talk about crossing the line for the sake of…

+ Your purpose

+ Being heard

+ Helping others be heard

+ Being WHO YOU ARE designed to be

+ Accomplishing what you set out to achieve

+ Allowing your potential to breathe and be

+ Allowing courage to not just be a word but thoughts with action

+ Taking the next step and going to the next level

Do YOU hear me…?!?!?

THIS is the type of crossing the line I want to talk about…if there is drama to be had…let your PURPOSE be attached!! You know so if anything legal wise comes up…it makes sense to you as to why you feel and/or act(ed) the way you did/do…

Are we still on the same page? Yes? Okay, good! If not, I still want you to keep reading…please and thank you! *smile

August’s (and September) Question for Thought:

SideNote: When I wrote that quote at the bottom, it was after I realized some of the times and even recently that I “crossed the line,” and I thought about if I hadn’t …where would I be today?

Not to mention…it made me think about the times that I didn’t cross the line or waited…

…

But let’s get back to crossing the line (yes…I will be saying cross the line and purpose 50 times)…

The thing with this Question for Thought and why I wanted to write a related post… is that it makes me think about what YOU/ME/We use to replace courage when it comes to pursuing our purpose…you know, old Slewfoot…and all his relatives… those dag gone naysayers…

And on the other side, the importance of why we need to cross the line for our purpose, and the other related reasons I mentioned above.

Let me outline 2 of the most important moments to recognize when we replace courage:

1.                    When we replace courage as in let doubt start talking and deciding, it becomes easy for us to deny/reject/never follow-through on the ideas that push us beyond limits; I’m talking about those “crazy” aka courageous ideas that pop in our mind…

Think about it, the more we invite doubt and worry in, the harder it becomes to actually want to do it or believe that we can do it!

2.                   The moment when the “crazy” ideas don’t appear to have any provision/resources/support/money/all of the above…and it makes us worry and/or wait, which doesn’t help us get anywhere!

*This is basically how worrying makes me feel… so…

Think about this… before you worry and wait, get creative!

Sometimes we think too small and our design is created to think big so we think that what’s “crazy” isn’t the norm, when IN OUR reality… what’s “crazy” aka courageous is actually OUR norm asking us will YOU be B-O-L-D? ---I may have to back to this in another post…

And THAT is the reason I want us to cross the line…

The next step in your purpose is on the other side of “that line”…will you cross it?

Think about this, when/what was the first time you can remember that you took a risk…then after you did it…you realized it was no big deal?

One of the things I had to realize and keep in my remembrance was that there are no risks in pursuing your purpose…the risk is in not pursuing YOUR Purpose…and knowing the makes of you…then wondering why there is no satisfaction or whatever your desired emotion or feeling maybe…

Here are some random GYC thoughts that may lead you to “Cross the Line” (they don’t need my commentary…yours is enough)

+ I am one of my greatest resources. My design was built to fulfill my purpose, pushing its features beyond the limits.

+ Your answer just may be on the other side of a question but you’ll never know if you don’t ask.

+ Who cares if everyone cares?! If you weren’t doing something worth talking about… they would not talk about you. Yeah…purpose’s ideas may seem crazy but if you took the time to realize the setup it has set up…your life may REALLY get crazy (by definition) or remain boring if you don’t do what it asks…

BOOM…what you gonna do???

that's my note-to-self…

+ Friend, if you don’t pursue this dream, your purpose... then what will you pursue? And what legacy will you leave?

The person that you admire isn’t the only one capable of being courageous and BOLD ENOUGH to begin fulfilling their dreams.

Hello!!

Quick Personal Story and GYC Commentary

I have crossed the line.

Someone told me I did and even wanted to file an injunction (lawsuit) to show me just how much I crossed the line…

I wrote and published Dear Divorce, Thank You… for grown kids (teens and adults) of divorce to confront, cope, learn, decide and apply.

And no it does not bash parents or anyone else but it also does not deny the truth for the sake of someone’s ego.

I had to realize that my growth, our growth is more important than some temporary hurt feelings about the truth that already exists whether or not people verbalize it.

We all go through our own level of tragedy or hardships but not talking about it when YOU know YOU have the voice and heart built to authentically discuss it… just keeps the conversation from not being discussed…it’s existence doesn’t go away based on whether or not we have a tolerance for it.

Long story short…my book is for sale at various online book retailers regardless of any present, past or future opposition against it.

I thought about not talking about this part of the journey at all… Then I realized that you all needed to know there was a real struggle beyond sharing my story on this topic with the world…and I crossed the line like there was no line for the sake of my sanity and purpose because my position that I was designed to play is WORTH IT.

SideNote: That's the only air that drama needs. Let us proceed!!

A Good Old Fashioned GYC Rant (all grammar rules out the window…I miss these)

Listen…Cross the line, cross the line, CROSS THE LINE!! (Insert your name here…)____________ CROSS THE LINE!! If there is one thing we can regret in this life is to know you have a purpose and not live it…and instead consider everyone and everything that has something negative against it…allowing them to cloud your judgment…leaving YOU/ME/WE to live a boring life of what if and I just didn’t want to hurt so-and-so’s feelings and having those that come after you struggle in an area where YOU were built to pave the way!

Cross That Line because no matter the volume or depths of your purpose, YOU are worth it…the real risk in not taking the risk is to find out that it wasn’t a risk but a normal day in your purpose. People can call you whatever they want to call you but YOUR PUPORSE DESIGNED YOU, which means it knows the depths of you, so only answer to what it calls you, WORTHY and equipped…which means that when you own it…there WILL BE OPPOSITION but don’t worry because you are worthy and equipped!! And if you were not…think about this…why would Slewfoot send its small-minded goons to bother someone who has no potential to be SOMEONE.

Let Me Say This…and I’m done

Think about WHO AND/OR WHAT needs your “crazy” idea that crosses the line, pushes the envelope, questions the definition of limits, and says that I am the expert of MY EXPERIENCES, listen to me.

Then decide (after you have put in all that thought) IF you don’t want to be courageous.

…

I’m thinking that if YOU/ME/We really do this…WE’LL BE SO STIRRED UP TO JUST TAKE THE MIC AND ROCK THIS LIFE…okay, I need to calm down…

Anyway…

There are too many Girl YOU Crazy faces and comments putting a hold on stuff, attempting to talk us out of walking worthy in our purpose, and making us think that we can’t impact the world with the genius that lives within us.

Crossing the line is about taking courage for what it’s for, our purpose, going for it… even IF the idea makes others uncomfortable. Living and fulfilling the life that calls us to be passionate and not just want change but step up and make change.

We cross the line for a better, no… GREATER tomorrow. And if we just sit and indulge in discouragement, today will only continue to replay itself…no progress.

What others and even ourselves may think is crossing the line, our purpose just considers it another day of living out our design…the norm we were built to live and enjoy!

So…I am going to ask this question again…

Don’t shut up or shut out the Courage attached to your Purpose.

More GYC Quotes

“Cross the line like there is no line because anything attached to your purpose is worth it.”-Life

“Many ideas aren’t crazy…our minds just think to small.”-The Substance of Crossing the Line

“If you didn’t have the power to impact the world…NO ONE would care about what you’re doing.”-Real Life

So go ahead…CROSS THE LINE!! And encourage someone to do the same!

Defeating crazy with courage,

Lauren Alicia, Miss GYCGirl…Crossing the Line with Confidence!!