Tell Me What They Taught YOU... HAPPY INTERNATIONAL WOMEN'S DAY!

 Tell Me What They Taught YOU

The way YOU treat people will give THEM a life of lessons…

And they might remember your name... just saying...

Move accordingly! 😉

HAPPY NEW YEAR/ HAPPY WOMEN'S HISTORY MONTH/ HAPPY INTERNATIONAL WOMEN'S DAY Y’ALL!!! I wanted to end the year with this post, but I let time get away from me…I admit! However, we’ll start the year (new month, sorta) off with some food for thought. While it may not bring you luck like collard greens, black-eyed peas and a rabbit's foot…Mmmmhmmm HA! 

I hope it engages YOUR PERSPECTIVE.

 

I want this post to seem sensitive…

because it is…

but also self-reflective…

because it is…

but also, to help strengthen our level of compassion…

because we all need more.

Tell Me what they taught you…I wanna know!

Girl, first of all… WHO ARE ‘THEY’? what are WE talking about?

Is this a group, parent(s), 1^st grade teacher, friends…WHO?

They are the ones that raised you, grew you, expanded you and/or made a turning point in your life …so whoever/whomever, they are…

What did they teach YOU?

 I won’t get into the specifics of the “they” in my life but some specific things ‘they’ taught me…I want YOU to know for yourself and teach them to someone else.

Remember how I told y’all that I’m privy to some ‘interesting’ conversations…well they are still going on and it has me wondering…

what have some people been taught? Like… have you directly been taught this, or did someone’s actions (or lack thereof) teach you this…why is this a part of your conversation, thought process, values, etc.?

Maybe I should change this to ‘everything a daughter should know’ ???? Hmm?

IDK but I want this information out in the world on one page…

 

IT HAS TO BE SAID.

                                  

1. YOU don’t beg anyone to care about YOU. Either they do or they don’t… just let them know what is important to you.

2. You’re no one’s savior even if you've helped them. Making yourself feel obligated to someone when you’re not a licensed professional to deal with their situation(s) is dangerous. Pray and keep it moving.

3. You’re loved and filled with Purpose…nothing will EVER change that.

 

4. No one’s beauty compares to yours…I don’t care what anybody says…GIRL, NO ONE IS YOU.  

        I NEED YOU to understand that you’re beautiful without looking outside the mirror. My mother taught me that I am who I am without any other opinion, it is instilled in me from childhood. I met someone that tried to mar my thoughts of self…I no longer know that person. Trying to make me feel the same size as you will never keep me in the same room with you…no, thank you. Go. Vai.

 

But seriously…once YOU KNOW THIS ABOUT YOURSELF…STOP looking for outside confirmation of YOUR BEAUTY.

5. Your choices are yours. Don’t be (a)shamed for putting you first. There will always be someone ready to blame YOU…so own what you do, the good and bad. And keep it pushing.

 

6. Protecting your peace reflects valuing your peace. I’ll be the first to admit that there are parts of the day when I love drama and being a drama queen… BAYBAY but for comedy reasons! The drama I bring tends to be for hilarious or educational purposes. I am not about to start a conversation with someone about something that I know is going to stress me out and not provide any solutions. No, thank you. This does not mean that I don’t let people vent to me, I do, I listen. BUT you listen to my thoughts after, PHAHAHa!

7. The appearance of power will never replace actual power. Take a deep breath and think on that.

 8.  If you change your mind, it’s changed. Learning not to say sorry WILL be a HARD lesson, and I mean hard but necessary. Especially because we say sorry and don’t mean it, way too often.

 

9.   Ignoring warning signs can cost you your life. If they had pre-stalker behavior in the beginning…it will only increase. For example, in the beginning you decided this wasn’t for you, blocked their number because it was done…but soon after, they purchased a new number to get in contact with you. Seems harmless to some but the reality is that this individual is not going to keep getting a new number but find other ways to track you down. The same goes with people you first meet, especially at your job or similar environments. If you think it's something 'off' about them...KEEP YOUR DISTANCE, don't get up close trying to figure them out...TRUST ME, LEAVE THEM ALONE---I've been taught this lesson more than once. Cheers to me actually learning it!

10.  Don’t waste too many people’s time…one or two but don’t make it a habit! This could be dangerous like #9… Some people really think you’re ‘the one’ and wasting their time will hurt.

11.   Everybody does not need to know where and how you live. Stop inviting everybody over and giving out the access code. Protect your space and you’ll know the people and things/habits drilling a hole in your “boat.”

 

 

12. Set up boundaries…they will literally save your life one day whether it is mental or physical.

13.  Lastly, YOU ARE God’s gift. To quote Aaliyah, ‘I’m not just anybody.’ People should know that it is a privilege to know YOU because… well, it is! --More on this later!!

Hey, I hope this was helpful, insightful, and encouraging for the next phase of life! Cheers to a great 2022!!

See you around the world somewhere,

Ms GYC Girl YOU Crazy, Lauren Alicia 

I have commitment issues

 

I have commitment issues

Whew, I finally said it aloud.

I met a stranger a few weeks ago and we were talking about some things I do and some things I don’t do OR HAVE, and their immediate response was,

“So, you push people away? That has to be what you’re doing.” -A (real, opinionated, and unsolicited) stranger…

 you never know!

However, all I heard was, “GYC Girl…YOU have a fear of commitment.”

A Fear of missing out on the ‘better’… if you take what’s currently being offered.

Hmmmm…WHEW!!

However, I will admit that for a while I have compared my desire to getaway and travel to me being flaky, a BIG FLAKE, in need of a break and wanting to frolic around without a true care… as a quick response to why I am wherever I am, and not going wherever I’m not going.

At the time, I needed this pressure-less lifestyle. Saying that ‘I’m flaky’ allowed me to view everything as temporary and not create connections that I had no interest in creating. If I may…it was my attempt at being unappealing to the public!

phahahahaha

For so long, I have admired my own patience in waiting for what God has for me and deepening my level of compassion for a variety of situations… but at this point, I can truthfully say… that not every time was the right move. Not every action was the right amount of effort!

This is a safe space, right???

Now, let me just say this…to anyone that may have been caught in the crossfire…BE IT ME or anyone like me in your life… this DOES NOT RELATE TO US LOWERING OUR STANDARDS OR dismissing connections that considered us desperate enough to just take whatever we can get.

NO! Okay, not YOU!!

I’m speaking to areas of our lives where we considered ourselves people that could see into the future and realize THIS THING was not for us…and maybe, just maybe, we were wrong! Possibly? No judgement only revelation and healing here!!

Raven’s perspective was always WRONG

For example, I’d start something and pause… because I knew it would take more of me than I was willing to give, or toy with something that could be serious because I didn’t see the potential in the situation. Something along the lines of growing into something and feeling STUCK. I’ve always needed to KNOW, I could escape.

 

Quick funny but TRUE story

After my childhood friend and I graduated from college and moved back home, they said to me, “so YOU feel like if you don’t unpack your suitcases you’re not actually here?” My response, ‘phahaha BASICALLY!! Mentally I’m still in NYC… that’s the goal so if I stay ready, I won’t have to get ready. Seems logical to me!’

If you’ve read GYC Girl YOU Crazy before, you know that I am the Queen of the Process and we’ve discussed many of this before! I’ve just never admitted that ‘I have commitment issues (emphasis on ISSUES)’, to myself or anyone else. However, I must say, this is definitely something you want someone to figure out for themselves…if YOU want us to change!

I saw this meme about how you’ll meet the same person repeatedly until you learn the lesson.  I feel like this stranger (I met a few weeks ago) is maybe the 3^rd or 4^th, or even the 5^th person that brings out these thoughts, but I’ve never came to this conclusion and wanted to CHANGE. Everyone else I just thought ‘WELP…I wish them well on their journey! If you don’t see it my way, then… Bye!’

 

Let me explain…

Anytime I told 1 significant person from my past about something potentially ‘better’ being nearby and that we should go or participate... they would always respond with a blank stare, “SO…” 

 

 I never could get myself to believe that wherever this person is, was the better place to be.

 

At the time, I felt like I was TOO cute and blessed to be at the ‘lesser’ event…

 

A little over 10 years ago... like 12 (I've been waiting to show this for a couple years, proud moment)!

And had to move on with my life! I couldn’t see myself happy and growing with someone that potentially had the option for better but just wanted to BE where we were.

 

Years later, reflecting and I realize that even if I thought better was nearby, “let’s just go,” better is and was wherever WE are, wherever we’re planting, watering, and nurturing.

 

You can’t satisfy a person that doesn’t think better, or best is with YOU, no matter the season you’re both in. Any kind of relationship or connection if you think about it!

 

That person could not satisfy me because I did not understand and didn’t want to…this is years later. I get it, kind of, well sort of, I’m working on it!

 

We have commitment issues because we can’t choose, well, we can but we refuse to choose. Something in our past that we have yet to process (go get my book, trust!), understand and heal from is keeping our decisions guarded from things that we don’t know we want or need without any doubt about it, or are willing to risk it all and trust that even if we fall, we’re still better than when and where we started.

 

Indecisiveness is our brand because being in control of ourselves and not giving anyone or thing full access to help us grow without us knowing is scary.

 

This is still a safe space, right??? Right. Okay!

 

It’s crazy… I don’t have any dusty regrets (*in my Tony Baker voice), but I never would have imagined that years later, so many years later that this person I no longer know is still teaching me things.

 

I’m almost done…

 

BUT…

I just want to say that YOU could be the answer to someone’s prayer…YEARS LATER AND DON’T HAVE TO KNOW THEM OR even know you were the answer. There are levels to God answering your prayer deeper than YOU prayed and better than YOU expected!!

 

Let the church say, AMEN!

Alright, I’ll end with this…

Knowing that you are a flake and admitting you have commitment issues are not the same thing… One wishes to dismiss and the other ACTUALLY wants to change or be presented with the opportunity to change.

So let me rephrase, I’m WORKING THROUGH my commitment issues. I’m really trying. But in the spirit of transparency…saying Forget this is a struggle to suppress.

GYC Girl… What do you want?

What do you need?

How much do you need?

How much do you want?

*Remember, YOU can adjust as YOU go…because while YOU may have commitment issues…God doesn’t! And if you think you’ve missed your chance but you’re still alive…TRUST THAT WHAT IS FOR YOU WILL CIRCLE BACK.

If I’m meant to be in your life (any kind of way) … be patient with me!

xxoxo

See you around the world somewhere,

GYC Girl YOU Crazy aka Ms. Lauren Alicia

 

*PLEASE NOTE THAT THERE IS NOTHING IN THIS POST THAT SHOULD SUGGEST TO ANYONE THAT I AM TRYING TO ‘HOLLA AT’ OR MAKE A MOVE ON ANYBODY, NO MA’AM, NO SIR! THIS IS ALL FOR HEALING PURPOSES. Be well!

Check Yo' Self Before YOU Wreck Yo' Self

“Check yo self before you wreck yo self and miss a great opportunity because of a humble beginning.”-Purpose knowing that we grow into our greatness

“Don’t allow your thoughts to limit the vision of your dreams or talk you out of the journey/steps that it takes to get there.” 

This is the 1st post of the year… WHOA Lauren, where have you been?????????????

I know, I know. Happy New Year y’all!!! However, I had to be sure that what was written was the REAL and relevant to what is going on in this New Year. Yep! No faking the funk here!!

So much growth, change, new beginnings, great connections, releasing the unnecessary connections (even if they don’t know it yet…) and just being free in all of what Purpose asks of me…

Then why is the post titled, “Check Yo Self Before YOU Wreck Yo Self” ?!?!!?

Because…where there is growth or progress to be made, there IS a struggle!!! And pride wants to tell everyone about him or herself while ego holds the microphone in attempts to tell you (as a reminder) and everybody else that you have already grown (2 snaps).

But in all of that, you miss the opportunity for actual growth.

“Check Yo Self Before YOU Wreck Yo Self” (yes, I'm quoting Ice Cube *smile)

Can I get a HELLO!!!!!!!

“Girl YOU Crazy”…but that’s why YOU are here!! We are all in process of something and we will only be in process until we get real/honest and stay honest with ourselves about where we are and where we want to be!

GYC Disclaimer: This post is more than likely going to read like a short rant post…but what’s new!? “The short part.”

I started this New Year somewhat like the last year but with specific plans for going to the next level with things that I already have in place versus creating the space…

However, even when we are following purpose and can see the bigger picture (SOMETIMES… it’s okay, I’ll be honest by myself), thoughts, feelings, pride…the fact that we are human tend to get in the way of the humble start…and we may start to wonder if we are really walking in our worth with this journey…

Now do you see why this post took so long!!!??? And I’m taking my vulnerability to the next level by putting this out here because this is a recurring moment in MY thoughts… it happens just before I’m bumped up to the next level but with it being 2015, a New Year, a new age, I’m just like geeessshhhh I’m a little over the humble beginnings… although I am appreciative!! At least now I know what it feels like to realize that I am built for more than one dream…the feeling of opposition lingering, the other side rolling their eyes and saying, “This is really not a humble beginning Lauren…” while my pride taunts with, “Why do I have to have a humble beginning for everything?????”

Then Purpose answers and says because YOU were created to impact, influence and inspire…and without knowing the feeling, or having the experience from every level of what I am asking you to begin or continue, you will not respect your progress nor have the compassion necessary to relate to those you’re designed to relate to. These humble beginnings are not meant to make you question your worth but stand firm in it and realize that you’re built strong, strong, STRONG and when you get to where you think you want to be after all of this…TRUST and know that I will blow your mind with the next thing! Don’t give up, don’t give in, allow the one open door to lead you to the next one…

Check Yo Self, Before YOU Wreck Yo Self…please!!

Seems like I should read Don't Take The Elevator...

So as YOU/ME (definitely me)/WE carry-on throughout 2015 and ALL the years to come…

May these “Check Yo Self Before YOU Wreck Yo Self” GYC Girl YOU Crazy quotes run through your thoughts as YOU get ready and stay ready for the next level!!!

1. Before you scrap for crumbs look up and see that you can have the whole cookie!

2. Allow your attitude and perspective to respect you!

3. Self-reflection is not for self-pity but a moment of reflecting on our true identity.

4. Allow your expectations to be manifestations…with trust and patience.

5. Don’t allow your potential to go unused because of your limited view of what is in front of you. #SeeTheBiggerPicture

6. Just because others disagree doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t share your opinion (again) or that you’re wrong, or going in the wrong direction.

7. If you truly have problems, realize the gifts and abilities you’ve been given and see that you were also given solutions that only you can compassionately pursue. Every problem you have has the potential to grow YOU in some way…even if it is just in mindset (which is HUGE)!!

8. You have come too far not to check your intentions or follow peace before you proceed!!

9. “Check Yo Self Before YOU Wreck Yo Self and find out what it really means to have a humble beginning…

10. Without the struggle you’ll never find your strength or grace for compassion.

11. The difference between you and others is…this is your dream, not something you are settling for. Remember that.

12. Your progress is a personal process that only you need to take the time to understand and commit. Be okay with it!

13. Will you look back on your experience right now as time wasted or time well spent? Think about it… think about it… then decide whether or not to continue!

14. Only YOU can stop YOU…don’t let anyone else think they have that power.

May YOU love yourself and your choices. Cheers to US continuing to rock this 2015!!

Defeating Crazy with Courage,

Lauren Alicia // Miss GYCGirl…Checking myself before I wreck myself!! ;-)

 

#TooBlessedToMissMyBlessings ...I know, I don't use hashtags properly all time...forgive me (smile)!

P.S. Checkout this month’s Question for Thought

Merry Christmas & Happy Holidays from GYC-GirlYOUCrazy.com

I’m not ready to commit… | I’m Ready To Commit!

“The power of our story could be the key to someone’s healing.”-Dear Divorce, Thank You (even though I HATE you) Sincerely, My Parents' Grown Kid: A Journey of Hate, Healing and Understanding, By Lauren Alicia

Yes…I know it is a long title.

“If I commit, I can’t quit.”-YOU

“You never know who is waiting to be influenced on the other side of your commitment.”-Life

Well…here it is beautiful people…my moment of honesty that cant/wont be filtered (no worries, I don’t cuss, I have other words…truth)…nor can/will I take it back.

Breathe Lauren, Breathe.

My official commitment to my 1st Rough Dream becoming reality… aka this post will be like a ceremony with a little bit of everything!

*key music…

I wrote a book, THE BOOK that I’ve been referring to since the beginning of 2013 (or maybe even earlier…hmm…), and now I am sharing it with the world…officially, Tuesday, August 19th!!!

HERE IS THE COVER!!!!!!

Let me just say that I am proud!

Okay, back to the GYC Girl YOU Crazy Commitment Ceremony…

First off… Girl, what is a rough dream??? (because I know you were thinking it…)

Rough Dreams Definition

GYC SideNote Rant (you know miss these)… Rough Dreams will make you say, “Where Is My Success?” , “Let me get on the elevator,” “The surface is the only thing that matters to me, forget substance,” “I’ll just wear my shower shoes,” “You’re right, I am all over the place,” “If I keep knocking they’ll answer” and the 2 classics, “I don’t have to reap what I sow if I just keep doing good deeds” and “yeah I know ‘What is for me is for me’ but I also want what’s his and/or hers too”…you get the idea…GYC is FULL of posts about YOU/ME/WE getting this thing together!!

I call them Rough Dreams because …

+They’re not glamorous and you’re not sure if it will ever appear to be glamorous

+They’re not what you expected

+They might be hard for those around you to accept

+They’ll make you find 50 (or more) reasons…really good reasons to quit

+ They’re dreams because you know deep down that even though the route is rough, the destination is a dream, it’s beautiful, amazing, ____(insert your favorite description here), and you know that you need to commit!

“When we commit, it’s like that 1 thing Purpose is asking for hits the surface while the rest of you is still marinating in the substance waiting for Purpose to call it too.”

What does it mean to commit?

These following 4 points were my struggle as emotions made me say maybe I don’t publish this, which is the main reason I self-published…yep so that I can have a way out… Can I be real?

**I won’t write GYC Commentary after the points…I’ll just let your thoughts be enough.

1. See the vision, Hear the directions, Take the steps

++ GYC Note To MYSelf (and you too if you need it) // Make it plain… Do NOT overcomplicate this thing Lauren, please stop…RIGHT NOW! Whew!!

Breathe Lauren, Breathe.

2. Take steps until the vision is complete!!

++ You’re not done until the vision is an image YOU can hold!

3. Let passion be present and refreshed!

++ Give it your all so you can be re-filled with greater!!

4. Minimize (or cut off) communication with what distracts you from where (and who) Purpose asks you to commit.

++ Know your priorities beyond the surface.

>>>Tell me what points you would add!!<<<

So…

This is ME taking the next step, commitment.

When I commit, I get quiet…

Focusing on the less to create the greater

Muting the noise that attempts to override the voice of Purpose and direction

Choosing to be guided by what already lies within

It’s been nurtured to maturity

         Although I do have my moments…

But this is The Moment that I shall take

Hustle it until the vision of victory is part of my history

and stepping stones for my future

I’ve let the pain of the past not be told because all I wanted to do was hate it

Now it’s time to turn the page

And welcome you to this part of my story…

A Journey of Hate, Healing And Understanding

More completely Dear Divorce, Thank You (even though I HATE you) Sincerely, My Parents’ Grown Kid: A Journey of Hate, Healing And Understanding

This is only the beginning.

HERE IS THE BACK COVER!!!

Now Available for Pre-order on Amazon.com to be released Tuesday, August 19, 2014, the day before the reason this journey began (my parents’ wedding day)!

Stay tuned by following DearDivorceThankYou.com!!! Watch out for interviews, articles, journal videos, posts & posters, and how you can join and help me promote!!

“ I can’t stop until I see the win, you’ve felt achievement before so can you be patient enough to wait, dedicate and commit until you feel it again? Your answer better be YES.”-My Note to Self

GYC (unnecessary) SideNote // I’m loving adding in these gifs…!

Thank you everyone for your support, patience and blessings!!

Last Note (and I’m done…)

What if GYC-GirlYOUCrazy.com was unintentionally intentionally created to bring me to this point and keep me going? What if the thing(s) you’re doing right now that you might think no one is listening or everybody is watching me not be who I WANT to be, or ______(you tell me…) is unintentionally intentionally paving the way to your dreams into reality… Honestly, that “What-if” is actually (or probably) “What IS.” One day we’ll see and be able to feel the vision of how each step was a puzzle piece designed to create a masterpiece…that looks like the most amazing version of the person in the mirror!

What if just might be what is…

I appreciate you all soooooooooooooooooooooo much!!

Defeating Crazy with Courage…watch me commit and hold me to it,

Lauren Alicia, GYCGirl…Getting her Author on!

P.S. Here’s a preview of the posts you’ll see on DearDivorceThankYou.com